Abbie The Cat Has A Posse
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
 
it has come to my Attention that some poeple do not know how to catch mice
this Is ay is a travesty
and I say this as the pre eminent mousecatgcher of his day
I have caught more mice than there are stars in the sky
at least as many stars as I canc ount
its been cloudy a lot

so let me take this oppoprtuntiy to share some iwisdom of the ages
it comes passed down from cat to cat
some cats dont get it though and they dont make good mousecatchers
for instance there was this cat I knew
she didnt care for mice one way or tother
if she sa w one she would let it go
live and let live she owuld say
that mouse has done me no harm
and anyway there are about fifty more improtant Things to do right now
I once told her that was probably not the pIrate way
an d I knew for a fact they did not like mice on their ship
it was Bad LUck
and she just pooh poohed

I sh ould also mention that this cat
this cat would not hesitate to take credit for a mouse I caught
so much for live and let lieve
anyawy that was a long time ago and history has proven me to be the victor
another notch in the collar If you Will
and you SHould

so heare are some rules for micecatching
as given to me from cats who have gone befre
Great Mousers they
first you m uyst figure out where the mice are
this is not as easy as it sounds
but for the sake of not being here all day I should say mice are usually found where there is food
and so am I
very handy you see

next once you See where a mouse is it will oprobably go there again
so you dont have to act right away
it is better not to becaus you want to put them at ease
make them think the house is theirs and they can run around all they awant
else they will just hide where you cant get them
to do ithis you must watch them but
but be VEry still and Quiet
you must gfool them into thinking you are Part of the scenery
the wall or mayhbe the shadow
sometimes it takes a while to wait
but it is Worth it

the rest is prety dstraight forward
you cahase it and y ou catch it
if it gts away then go back to the step where you are very quiet
if you catch it hurray
do as you PLease with it
me I like to keep mine by my food sdish
some cats like toeat their mice but honetstly they dont taste very good
any cat who tells you otherwise is really porbably just folloiwing tradition
Ive eaten a few in my time and only several were really Palatable
it might depend on what they were eating ebeforehand
I ate one once and I only ate half
the REst I was saving for later onlyh it never got later enough for me to want to finihsh it

the next part is hard for acat but bear with me here
if someone gets rid of the mouse for you do not get upset
even if they say sthings like oh a dead mouse how disgusting
get it out of here before the hwole house gets a diseas
listen buddy some VEry Helpful cat just did you a Favor
the least you can do is tell them just ho wwell they did
before tosing the mouse outside or in the trash
or wherevr you put it

that wasnt me being upset
'
around here people undestrstand the vaulable service I provide
and they say things like welld one ABbie
yhou are a great mousecatcher
here have a treat

Treats taste better than mice amnyway so it is all win win
doesnt matter what treat it is either
so feel free to be Cretative and generous

Comments:
Only Zippy catches mouses. Dey won't come in our house cuz dey know dat three cats live here and dat dey would DIE. Zippy goes outside and catches dem. She also gets rabbits and dem stoopid chippermonks and moles. Not da kinda moles on hoomans skin but da kind dat dig holes and tunnuls all over da yard dat make mom say some really bad words.
 
Those ungrateful humans. I bet they've never caught a mouse in their lives.
 
Thank you Abbie. I will indeed be freely creative and generous in your honor.
 
Thanks, Abbie, for your memories of Martha, the pirate cat!
 
That Martha, she was apirite for good so she didnt kill mouses but she cuold have. I am a cat for bad but also good. My ma gets the mouses out with a trap it is a box. But I catch all the voles but that is outside. When I was a kit I ate half a bunny in the bedroom but that was befor I knew ma would feed me so I am sorry. not
Abby I am old and wise lik you so I no how to be still and silent. We are teh masters at thisgame.
 
Another thank you for the memories of Martha..... It's always so good to see another post by you, Abbie. I sort of worry when time goes by without hearing from you.
 
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