Abbie The Cat Has A Posse
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Hello it is Martha again.
While Abbie wasn't looking I decided to change his blog.
He does not like change.
He says when things change he isn't happy.
But I can only look at that same old blog for only so long.
So now look what I did.
I used BLoggger.
Now I made it look better.
And look you can write stuff in it too.
But it isn't your blog ok.
If Abbie gets grumpy he will change it back I just know.
He already is grumpy so watch out ok.
Boy will he be in for a surprise.
Look my name is even on every page now.
Guess who, it's Martha.
Here is my pirate resume.
You need a resume if you want to be a pirate.
I got help with the resume from some websites but none of them had pirates.
Name: Martha the Cat
Ship: Between ships
Objective: To obtain a high-ranking position in a pirate crew where my pirate skills will benefit and add value to the crew.
(that is the part I had help with.)
Also, to become a mighty pirate.
And plunder a lot and retire to a pirate island and eat mangos all day.
Skills: Plundering, pirating, yo-ho-hoing, belaying that line, heaving to, setting sail, battening down hatches.
Expertise: Stealing food and blaming others for it, singing sea chanteys, running around on a ship during a battle.
References available upon request.
Okay that is my resume.
With it I can become a mighty pirate.
Also I will need to try a mango sometime just so I know what they taste like.
Oh Abbie is asleep so I am typing quietly.
Monday, June 28, 2004
Hello, it's me Martha.
Today I went to the harbor to see if anybody needed pirates.
I figured if anybody needed pirates it would be people on pirate ships.
I did not see any pirate ships.
I saw a lot of other ships.
One was a tanker which I guess means full of tanks.
They did not need a pirate.
Another ship was big and wooden and had cannons.
I thought this would be the perfect pirate ship.
But it is not going anywhere except next week.
Next week it goes out to sea.
And then it turns around.
And then it comes back.
And then it stays there for a whole year.
And they did not need any pirates either.
One was a cruise ship which had people in it.
Guess what, no pirates wanted.
But some people said "Oh look there's a cute cat, let's bring it onboard and it can be our mascot and sit by the Lido deck and do tricks for bits of fish."
This was funny because I do not do tricks.
Then someone else said "Oh no, it is a black cat, we cannot have balck cats on board because they are bad luck."
And I went well of all the nerve and turned around and walked away with my tail held high.
For one it is a myth that black cats are bad luck.
You are unlucky all the time but apparently it only counts if a black cat has crossed your path.
You only notice your bad luck if you see one.
And two I am not entirely black because I have silver hairs on my chest and speckles elsewhere so there hah.
So I came home because I'm really not supposed to be outside and I did not want to leave Abbie alone for too long.
And a cruise ship would have been too long.
I told him of my trip today and he was jealous.
The only trip he took was to the food dish and then back under the bed.
Oh and to the box too.
I hope he gets better soon so he doesn't complain at me all the time.
He tried to call me nurse and I had to hit him.
Cause you can't hit someone who's sick.
Saturday, June 26, 2004
hello it's me again Martha.
I am writing because once again Abbie is sick.
He is hiding under the bed and feeling miserable.
And frankly it is making me miserable too.
First he is hogging the catbox all the time.
He is in there for a lot of time.
Sometimes I go in and I say hey, move it, it is my turn but he says I have to wait.
And he doesn't even do anything most of the time.
And he looks really grumpy about it.
Other times he does not use the catbox and just tries to do his business where he is.
I told him he is going to get into trouble but he said he doesn't care because he already feels rotten.
And you know what, he doesn't get into trouble.
Can you believe it?
Personally I think if someone is sick they should not bother others and they should not complain and they should not feel like they are above the rules.
So I am sitting on the dresser trying to stay out of his way.
I think he needs to go see a doctor.
He does not have the money for that.
They do not take bottlecaps at the doctor.
If he goes to the doctor I am going to have to go be a pirate to pay for it.
I will tell you how that goes okay.
Sunday, June 06, 2004
Hello today I am interviewing Smarty JOnes who is a racehorse
hi smarty jones how are you
"oh I am fine abbie thank you"
so first offtell us who you are and what you do
"okay my name is smarty jones and I am a race horse"
that si very interesting what does a racehorse do
"well mostly I run around a lot"
hey I like to run around too and chase things, do you ever chase things
ok so I hear you are good at running
"yes I won a lot of races"
hooray for you I bet it is fun
"it is fun and they feed me oats"
WE saw you on televson yesterday and you did not win the race
"no I did not the other horse did
tht is sad, did you cry
were you sad that you lost
"no I just had fun running around on the track"
okay why do they call you samrty jones
"because I am smart"
well thank you for the interview smarty jones you are a fine racehorse and we wish you the best of luck
tune in tomorrow when I will interview this bug
OKay here is a summary of May
then I ate some
I ate some more then I took a nap
then something happened and I was very perturbed for a while
and then I went back to sleep
oh now it is time for a food break, now I am eating
one night I ran around a lot after a bug
got some tunafish for being a good sport
wathced out the window a lot, maybe I saw you go by
I had a fight with theother cat and chased her off the bed
meanwhile I was charming and frindly and everybody liked me
threw up a few times but thats not pleasant news
and I stood in thesink and yelled
it was a good month all things considered
there could have been a bit more food though