heard it again
another ones walked away
still LIngers in the shadows and the sun
good fellow this time too
well most of us are goodonce were gone
the bad parts go away because who Wants to think about them anwyay
others I guess its just good they are gone
and we leave it at that
I never knew any of them personaly

everynow and then I ithink I see the other cat
where she would be
I dont need to tell you where those spots are because you know wherethey are
they are where she Would be
and somet imes when I am just dozing off
I swear I hears it
she says hey sleepyface wake up theres a mouse
practically RUnning upt o you

usualy I get up and the mouse is there
and then it is on
because if I go back to sleep I Probably wouldnt hear the end of it
sheesh look at him just ignorin his duties
someone oughta keelhaul you slacker
etcetera

I think she is just a litle bit jealous
because I have lived nearly Twice as long as she
well lemme tell you sister it aint ALways been a bed of roses that extra time
some of that EXtra time was spent growing older and slower and crankier
who knew
anwyay I willbe gone some day and then what

Ill tell you what
if she asks me then how I SAPent all my extra time
I am gonna say well you oughta know cause YOu were there bugging me for most o fit
we doze off a lot as a general rule

cats also dont waste too much time as a generaul rule ewither
theres a cat saying
time wasted is still time spent
you cant do anything else with time but spend it
thats all I know about ecomonmics

started typing my stories ten and a HAlf years ago
thats a mighty long time for a cat
some keyboards were easiert o use than others
anyway these stories are MINE
spent my time you see and I got em in return
and if the other saying you cant take it with you is true
then they stya here when I am gone
thats pretty good right
the Internet doesnt do a very good job of forgetting sometimes

but I heard a Story once
he said he heard it from another guy
which was all about a King back in the day
I Mean a long time ago
and this king thought so much of himself that he put up a STatue of hismelf
and it was big
and on it he wrote man OH man look at how big I am
and all of my stuff
look at ALL OF MY STUFF
only now there wasnt any Stuff to look ata nymore
I tol dyou it had been a long time ago
And the statue well it was pretty much gone But just the legs stayed
also the part he wrote

I htink maybe he carved it instead

anwyay I think I sure do have one up on the king
sure I like to talk about all my stuff
but I already know Ive lost a bit of it
do you think the old king ever figured

some of the stuff I lose ends up under the couch
others just the shadows and the sun
- posted by Abbie @ 6:33 PM 11 comments

 
well you May be curious to know
I have been learning how to drwaw comibooks
theyre pretty tough to draw to be honest
i am having a time of it with the pen
they dont show you all the parts in the comic book
where they didnt hold the pen right
or they knokced the ink over by accident and it blotched on the Paper
or they acidentally stepped on the paper before the inky dried and put prints all over the place
there is a lot in comic books that can happen by Accident

sofar I have not done a lot with superheros
they are everywhere and anyway my superhero is a ninja and he was not in this story
instead i decided to play a villin
and batman is full of them
so here is part of the comicbook I wrote about batman and me abbie the match he has met
i figure even if i end up not drawrirng it then the instructions will help whoever it is do it

title
batman has met his match
by ME abbie

panel 1
you see gotham city and all the poeple are sad
the caption says "This is Gotham city and all the people are sad"

panel 2
you see people in gotham city being sad and they are also hungry (you have to draw them being hungry)
the caption says "they are hungry but they have nothing to eat"

panel 3
one of the sad people is saying "who took all the food we were going to eat?"
word bubble: "Who took all the food we were going to eat?"
the word bubble is coming from the sad person

panel 4
this might be a big panel
there is a SHAdowy Figure sitting in a big pile of stolen food. if it is TOo hard to draw you can make it crates labeled "FOOD"
caption: "Who indeed, for hidden away deep is a Shadowy Figure who knows who did it!"
other caption: "Meanwhile, in a secret hidden abandoned warehouse..."
maybe also you could make the shadowy figure saying "ha ha ha!"

panel 5
we are looking at the shadowy figure and he is dramatically walking into a light
he is saying "I know who did it!"
I guess yo uknow where the word bubbles go at this point

panel 6
the shadowy figure is cheering in victory and he is standing in the light and not so shadowy anymore
and it is ME in my super villin outfit
I say "And the reason I know who did it is because I did it! I am THE MOOCH"

and then make big words saying "BEWARE... THE MOOCH"

that's all I got so far in comic book form
but the mooch is a most formidable enemy
he is quick as lightning and can steal your food before you know you even want to eat it
this part I ams aying now by the way doesnt go in the comic
at least not this way
also the batman people have not written me back saying whether or not they will use the mooch in all future batman stories
so for now pretend im not fighting batman
but instead another superhero
and we are not in gotham city anymore we are in um
rochester
- posted by Abbie @ 8:04 AM 4 comments

 
QWell would you liook who is the kIng
ME
that is who
because it has been my birthday
Again
and now I am fourteen
that is fourteen yeras
and in cat years that is REGAL

we dont get around much as we used to
we dont write much as we used to
you slow down as you get older
And sometimes thers just nOt much to write about
today I slept
and I woke up
and I Used the LIterbox
do you realy need me to exlaborate on That
caus its pretty straightforward if you ask me
you go in the box
you do your tihing
you clean up and go
whAT MORE DO YOU NEED
it dont become more interesting over time

I Had a fine birthday DInner tonight
they brought fish back form the fish palce
now here is something you mightk not know
when you order fish from the pfish place
you shouldnt say this is for a cats birthday
because they will look at you funny
and say whats the matter is our fish not good enough for people
they are Proud these fishmongers
so
you order it saying This is for a dinner for people
and Most Definitly not for cats
no those cats will STay aAway
we will make sure of it
now bring out the FrRUITS of the SEA

so this is how the DInner came to be for people but mostlyh for ME ABBIE
and they came back and they ate it
but I had a Sampling of everything
it is called a bufet
here is what I think of some fish

SAlmon is orange and tastes like salmon
but if you look at a picture of a samon you see it is pink
that is strange
but bears lke salmon so its good enough for me
you DOnot want to argue with a bear

tuna is pink and it tastses GOod
but when you look at a tuna you see it is silver
fish ar efull of mystery
also vitamins

then thers yellowtail
i havent seen ap icture of one
but judging from previous experience
i would be Surprised if it actualy had a yellow tail
you cant fool me three times over

all three though were Aplus eats
WOuld eat again
and Should

by the by
I wonderd what actual fish was silver
so I Looked it up
that SIlverfish aint no fish at all
I just wrotethat to save you some time
- posted by Abbie @ 3:33 AM 12 comments

 
it has come to my Attention that some poeple do not know how to catch mice
this Is ay is a travesty
and I say this as the pre eminent mousecatgcher of his day
I have caught more mice than there are stars in the sky
at least as many stars as I canc ount
its been cloudy a lot

so let me take this oppoprtuntiy to share some iwisdom of the ages
it comes passed down from cat to cat
some cats dont get it though and they dont make good mousecatchers
for instance there was this cat I knew
she didnt care for mice one way or tother
if she sa w one she would let it go
live and let live she owuld say
that mouse has done me no harm
and anyway there are about fifty more improtant Things to do right now
I once told her that was probably not the pIrate way
an d I knew for a fact they did not like mice on their ship
it was Bad LUck
and she just pooh poohed

I sh ould also mention that this cat
this cat would not hesitate to take credit for a mouse I caught
so much for live and let lieve
anyawy that was a long time ago and history has proven me to be the victor
another notch in the collar If you Will
and you SHould

so heare are some rules for micecatching
as given to me from cats who have gone befre
Great Mousers they
first you m uyst figure out where the mice are
this is not as easy as it sounds
but for the sake of not being here all day I should say mice are usually found where there is food
and so am I
very handy you see

next once you See where a mouse is it will oprobably go there again
so you dont have to act right away
it is better not to becaus you want to put them at ease
make them think the house is theirs and they can run around all they awant
else they will just hide where you cant get them
to do ithis you must watch them but
but be VEry still and Quiet
you must gfool them into thinking you are Part of the scenery
the wall or mayhbe the shadow
sometimes it takes a while to wait
but it is Worth it

the rest is prety dstraight forward
you cahase it and y ou catch it
if it gts away then go back to the step where you are very quiet
if you catch it hurray
do as you PLease with it
me I like to keep mine by my food sdish
some cats like toeat their mice but honetstly they dont taste very good
any cat who tells you otherwise is really porbably just folloiwing tradition
Ive eaten a few in my time and only several were really Palatable
it might depend on what they were eating ebeforehand
I ate one once and I only ate half
the REst I was saving for later onlyh it never got later enough for me to want to finihsh it

the next part is hard for acat but bear with me here
if someone gets rid of the mouse for you do not get upset
even if they say sthings like oh a dead mouse how disgusting
get it out of here before the hwole house gets a diseas
listen buddy some VEry Helpful cat just did you a Favor
the least you can do is tell them just ho wwell they did
before tosing the mouse outside or in the trash
or wherevr you put it

that wasnt me being upset
'
around here people undestrstand the vaulable service I provide
and they say things like welld one ABbie
yhou are a great mousecatcher
here have a treat

Treats taste better than mice amnyway so it is all win win
doesnt matter what treat it is either
so feel free to be Cretative and generous
- posted by Abbie @ 8:07 PM 8 comments

 
and now we Present
that star of Stage and screen
abbie G robinson
in his gReatest role ever

listen see
thisis My joint
I'm the big cheese around here
and I aint about to let
no two bit punk
muscle in on MY turf
see

THE END

by theWAy in reality
this mesage goes to the brazen varmint
by the bowl outside
he Knows who he is
my Dialog was couresty gangster movies
I Have been watching a lot of gangstermovies
starringthat guy
who WAs in gangster movies
oh and that other guy was in it too sometimes
- posted by Abbie @ 11:08 AM 11 comments

 
today someone said hey abbie congratulations
adn I said whatdid I do this time
oh right it is my birthday
so today I ma thirteen and in cat years that is VENERATED ELDER

everybody is always talking about dog years and how Dogs are seven for every year
for one dogs stole that from cats
as usulal
for two its not that simple but for tke sake of being easy lets just go with it
cat years are differnet
we have a calendar that is like years
it is hard to explain
its all in the mind
and there arent too many names for months and stuff
i mean I know what month it is and you know what month it is
why waste names
we dont even call it months so there

okay so we name years
there si another cat who has a birthday today
but in cat years he is still a babby

i know it is getting to be my birthday time when the windows are open
today I sat in the window sill and watched the backyard
i have much to report for instance
the squirrels have way too much freedom in those trees
also there is a nerw fence
and tols
some are very loud and some just sound like hitting things
people are making an awful lot of stuff out in the world
i just like making a mess

oh and if you are wondering abot the cat calendar
it all depends on where you have to sit for the sun
thats how you know
- posted by Abbie @ 7:34 PM 12 comments

 
looking out the window at the very nice WSpring weather we are ahving
many thingshappen on the street when you look
they probably happen when you dont look too but you gotta look
except for skunks
skunks happen and you dont need to see them

i saw someone i know running down the street
running runnng running
sasy I what are you doing all that running for
you are not carrying any loot
and you are not cahasing anything
she says abbie I am practicing for amarathon
well if that dont beat all
do you know what aa marathon is
i do now
it is a big race but you cant use cars
and it is a long way to run
i once ran from the ktichen through the dinning room and into the windows room
because a bird was outside
then i ran up the stairs and let everybody know there was a bird outside
and then i ran down the stairs and back into the windows room
turns out thats not much of a marathon
and when i got back the bird was gone

everybody runs around for different reasons i guess
- posted by Abbie @ 2:17 PM 5 comments

 
THIS IS TO CERTIFY
That on Sunday, January 31, 2010
THE PARTY OF THE FIRST PART (heretofore referred to as ABBIE) did ask for, and did receive
* A copious quantity of leftover brisket
* New water in his water dish
* Attention

Should, in the future, the PARTY OF THE FIRST PART (we mean ABBIE) make the following claims

1. That he has never been fed
2. That he has never had new water in his bowl
3. That he has never had brisket before in his life
4. That nobody likes him, everybody hates him, guess he'll go eat worms
5. (the list is not limited to the four above, any whine will do)

LET IT BE KNOWN TO ALL AND SUNDRY
That these complaints are VICIOUS VICIOUS LIES

So noted and recorded this First of February, 2010

Signed: _____x______ (ME ABBie)
Witnessed and Countersigned: ____y_____ (the guy)

Additional notes from the PARTY OF THE FIRST PART: THEy told me that If I wanted ANY piece of the Briskte I would have to SIgn this first so it is COmpletely Under Duress and should not be LEgal one bit oh wait did I mention I was supposed to get Briskte with this well I NEVER GOT IT so can I have some of yours huh
- posted by Abbie @ 12:03 AM 6 comments

 
when I am sitting int he PUrple seat
which is mine by the way
it has my hair on it
just so you dont sit there

when I sit in the pUrple seat
I am the archduk of everywheria
and from here I sit
watching my subjects Go by
to and fro
paying tribute
it is Nice to watch
and gives us something to do before the daily Feast in my honor

when I sit on the table
in the middle of the plants
and watch the squirels
I am the interpid Explorer cornel Humphries
and I am on the trail of the biggest game prize yet
if I get lost it is okay
I will eventually meet the doctor i presume
or was it the other way around

when I sit on the couch
i am just a cat
some days that's pretty much as good as it gets
- posted by Abbie @ 4:45 PM 6 comments

 
THis being THanksgiving and all I know that i amsure thankful for a lot of thigns
first you know the man they call troublemaker sam
well he helped me out with my Hair Styilng
oha nd that girl she helped out too
and now i am SLeeker than ever and you cannot ever say oh hey there goes abbie the walking throw rug

all is good for now it is colder and I shall be growing a new rug as They say

so I thought I should tkae the time and tell you all about Thanks giving because it is a very good time aorund here when it happens

it all goes back to a very long time ago ah wen there these cats they called pilgrims
they were Making a Pilgrimation from the land across the ocean to over here, which is across the ocean from oer there

I looked it up on GOggle maps it is all true

and they Settled down and called the place NEw England so that nobody would confuse it with Regular England

and things were going okay for a while
they were doing pretty good for themselves
but then when winter came oh brother was It a nightmare
dont ever do that if you have a chance by the wya
if someone comes up to you and says Hey buddy wanna go to the New World and spend a winter there
say No thank you I shall wait until after you have your Revolution

so undersatndably when the time came for the next winter to roll around these cats were Pretty worried
but then they got to tlaking with the Cats who had ALready Been Living there
these cats by the way
i gotta say
they get the Short end of the stick by the end of it all
I mean really unfair
It's like when they put you in a SMall room and say
oh Sorry Abbie but we have to use the dining room right now
this fine sushi dinner just Isnt for the lieks of YOU

now take that
and make it like a Million times even MOre unfair
thats those cats
I mean
unliike Yours Truley
they werent even doing anything Wrong

but back in the Piligrims days these cats were doing pretty good for themselves
they had COrn
and it was called Maize
but you could say corn if you wanted to
and they said hey New Cats on the block
here's maize which we think you will really like
and when you Grow it then you can make all kinds of food
and grow some more

Needles to say this made the pilgirms very happy
as well as my ancestor Restaurant joe

remember Restauarnt joe
theres a song about restauarnt joe

anyway in those days he was known as Elder Restaurant JOseph
I looked it up
but I am going to still just call him Rest Joe from now on becaus the last time I told you about him I got REAlly SIck and tired of writing it aLL THE TIME

so Rest Joe he was part of the Pilgrimings and he piped up and he said well you know I have been wanting to make some fine food for everybodyt for a long time now only we have been running low on every ingredient

but I bet that if we took what we got and shared it what with the Cats over there
and use their maize corn too
we can have our selves a feastt that cant be beat

and thats just what they did, everybody got together and I guess they used a big kitchen
and Rest Joe made all his favrite Specialties
when you asked him if something was on the menu he said it is now
and the other cats they stopped by and made their own stuff and stuffing
it was pretty wild
I bet they even had turnips
Because they had a song about the meal
and it went you can get anything you want at restaurant joe's restaurant
Except for the restaurant

afterwards when they were all full everybdoy took a nap
but not before rest joe tapped his fork to his mug and said
okay I want to thank everybody who came out and did their thing
and helped put a lot of food on the table
and I want to thank the other cats because they saw we Were in a FIx
and there's a lot of other things to thank
and I Bet you have a few in your life too
so think about that for a bit
and then you can take a Nap because I know I will

and they slept for quit ea while and then they got up and ran around batting small rocks in to the goals
all in all not bad a holiday for a first try

anyway I Am awriting all this cause I got my own turkey dinner tonight
WIth all the trimmings Thankyou very Much
and that's a lot to be thankful for

now I am oging to take a nap
the batting of the small rocks shall commence at oh 3:30 this A M
- posted by Abbie @ 6:38 PM 13 comments