Abbie The Cat Has A Posse
Sunday, September 21, 2003
al lot of people wrote to me over the weekend and that was nice
for
one things are better
bad dasys happen you know that
and I found something behind the stove that I ate and things got better
for seconds I did want tyou to know that I talked to the other cat about this day you had
that everybody talsks like a pirat day
becaus lord knows I have to hear a lot of it all day long
she says and i am guoting here
arr, drop the yardarms an' heave down the flagons, ye fo'csle landlubbers "
I dont even know what that maeans
and just between you and me
I dont think she knows either
I told her about the national today you must talk like a pirates day
and she licked her paw at me and nsiffed
I said what in the hey are you sniffing for this is your day and they made it for you
and she sniffed again and said no its not and harumphde
and I said why do you harumph and how do you do it so I can try
she said that she talks like a pir at every day anyway so whats one day
and anyway she was darned if she was ogpoing to do it becaus someone told her to
and to prove her poin she did not talk like a pirate allthat day
instead she talked like michael ciaine
i think sometimes she is contrary just to be contrary
meanwhile I am charming and cool because I cCAN be
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
I am onot very happy today
you may be happy and that is perfectly fine but don't bring that near me
get away I tells you
I am going to be sleeping right here on the jacket on the bed
and I don't want to hear another peep
out of anybody
today it is toughtto be a cat
Thursday, September 11, 2003
i ggot Nappy dreads
all over my back
this is one of the things you expect when You have long hair
some days I can't reach back there and this is one of them
so I am schedualing a haircut soon
I shal be the best looking cat in the place
as I usually am of course
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
isn't it funny when people meow to you
peopel who don't really know what it means I mean
today somebody told me that he had Shoes on his nOSe
and outside there were Elphants and a comb
and that five years ago he went to tuna school
all I wast rying to tell him was that there was something floating in the watardish
my feeling is that If you dont' know the language then you should not speak it
Tuesday, September 02, 2003
I thought it would be fun to make a newspaper
so here is the first ediditon of the ABBIE ThE CAT NEWS PAPER
THE ABBIE THE CAT NEWspaper
written by ME Abbie
date September 2 2003
EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT
i threw uptoday
response teams were on the scene within MInutes and it got cleaned up
THE WEATHEhER
it is chily outside I think and I saw some rain
tomorrows weather is I don't know
maybe it will be nice
CLASIFIEDS ADS
for sale one stupid cat
she is little and thinks she is a pirate
I will sell her for 3 dollars but you have to come get her
when you pick her up you will p[retend you are here for the Shoebox
I promise she will be in the showbox honest
EDIOTIRAL
I thinkit is patently unfair that I am not allowed on top of the dresser anymore
that is my editorial
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
there are none
THE END
this is diferent because newspapers don't usually say THE END at the end
but thankyou for reading
Monday, September 01, 2003
I had a baddream this time
I woke up it was so bad
the other cat said you must have had a abad dream
and I said how did you know
because you were cryin she said
i licked my paw and said I Was not crying I was complaiing and there is a big difference you know
she asked what happened and I ssaid what do you mean
IN your dream she said were you on fire
I said no
Was a spider cahsing you
no
were you being yelleda at
no
did athe vacum cleaner eat you
ono
then what happned
I said I can't remember now, i have forgotten
and she said well then it couldn't have been all that bad a dream now could it
i must admit hshe has a bit of apoint
but all the same I am going to stay upthe rest of the night looking out the window
it could come back