Abbie The Cat Has A Posse
Monday, April 30, 2001
pest pest pest
she, yes, she is a pest
she is a cat like me and she must realize we need 18 hours of sleep a day
and when I am curled up and sleeping that means Hello I am Cut off From The rest of the World Goodbye
but she she yes she thinks it means it is time to play
dreaming of delicious chicken I was when she cuffs me on the ear
she asyas come on, get up, there are things to do and places to go and weird things to knock around
and I say GO AWAY CAT you bother me
she keeps on batting my ear
she says I have slept long enough now I desire interaction and attention get up now, you
and I say go bug the guy, he's usually good for a few minutes of atention even if he's kicking you out of the room
She says I will knock you down you know and I say stupid, I'm already lying down
and then she bats my ear again and I let her have it
Then we both get kicked out of the room

funny, for someone who stays up so late that guy sure is cranky in the morning

Wednesday, April 25, 2001
so the microphone was tehre and it was on
so I hollered very loudly
and the other cat did, too and we took turns yelling into it
and then the sound went to montreal and it was played in a large silo
and you can hear it over the Internet
so for thirty glorious seconds me and the other cat were hollering in a silo in Montreal
and our sounds reverberated and made echoes and it was very eerie

the other cat says she'd like to hear it over and over and over and over and over again
and I cannot help but agree
it is That good.

Tuesday, April 24, 2001
this is what certain words mean

get down, you means I don't really mean you
now you've done it means I will get up and feed you now
an open dresser drawer means come on in and jump on the clothes, it's fun

Monday, April 23, 2001
it was a veyr warm day today and all the windows were open
I spent a lot of time sitting on the sill lookng out at all the birds
my but there are a lot of birds in this world
and all of them don't know I am watching becauseI am a master birdwatching ninja
they are lucky that there is a metal screen between me and them
they can blissfully go about their lives completely unaware of the horrible mistofrutunes that would befall them
were I to be let loose on them

the oether cat has been quite the pest recently
she crawled up into the computer desk and tugged mercilessly at the mouse cord
she is meowing VERY loudly and it is quite late at night
and she has gotten into the toilet paper and has rolled it around the bathrroom

part of me is quite pleased that for once I am not the one getting in trouble
But another part of me is jealous because i hadn't thought of doing that first
I guess you can't have all the good ideas

Friday, April 20, 2001
I ate a piece of beef wrong last night
it got stuck and I had to cough it back up
and I coughed a lot and a lot more and then some mroe for ugood measure
i will spare you the gory details but siffuice to say I wasn't very happy for a while
all it takes is one piece of food to change your outliook on life you know
won't be around forever and damned if a stupid piece of meat is going to beat me

the guy says he knows the cat hieimilich
but i saw the instructoins an it involves picking the cat up and swinging it around
and throwing it over yourshoulder and pretending its Superman or something
I don't know about you but if it came down to being swung around while singing hte Superman song
or chocking, I may very well have to choose one.

the other cat says I should chew my food more carefully
I told her to go back to her cheespuffs
she is addicted to them you know

Saturday, April 14, 2001
whos your favorite duke of hazzard? mine is bo
he is a good driver and he can drive the ngeneral lee and make it jump by blowing hte horn
luke is good too and he can punch so thats why he is my favorit
I think though I like uncle jesse the best because he makes the moonshin outside
i don't really know what moonshine is but it must be something good cause rosco and his dog always want it
daisy was a pretty lady but i have the feeling she doesn't like cats very much
just call it a hunch or something anyway she hangs out at the boar's nest which is good
because they serve food and beer there and play pinball so the boar's nest is my favorite
and boss hogg likes to eat and holler just like me

the other cat says i cant have five hundred favorites
and that's incredibly silly
there werent five hundred people on the show you thick head
above all though I think cooter was the best

Saturday, April 07, 2001
the other cat and ai were outside in the woods today
we were walking down ap ath when ninjas attacked
we had to fight them off and there were a lot of them. i kicked one in the head
and the other cat clawed at some. we have very sharp claws because it is important
to defencd yourself against ninjas in the woods

then i knocked another one down and hit him on the hand and then another one came
at me and I had to spin around and bite him
the other cat knocked three down but i knocked five down and that is more
Then we had to invstiegate why the ninjas were atatcking
it turns out that we were nearrt the evil CASTLE
which was plotting to take over all the land and that just was not right
so we decided to team up with pikachu to steal the crystal
we snuck through the woods the to the ninja castle
the other cat threw a rope upp and we climbed into the top tower and had to fight 50 ninja guards
they had us surrounded in a circle so I jumped up on a table and used the tiger technique of dr saurin-tang
that only very few privieleged cats know, and I hit 14 of them with the arrow fist
and then I hit another 10 with the spinning jump death kick
the other cat hit some with her flying turtle tecnicque

and we were able to steal the crystal and break their hold of power and go home and have chicken
that is why we weren't around today to knock anything over
I thinkp ikachu shocked a few too with lightning attack

Thursday, April 05, 2001
I have come up with a great game to play
It is my favorite game and odn't let anyone tell you otherwise
It is called Knock THings Off the Counter

To play, you will need
1 place (here)
1 cat (me)
1 counter
another cat, if optional

You jump up on the counter and see things on it
Then you knock them off
the other cat could jump up and hlpe too but you don't get any points for that
the winner is you when everything is on the floor as it should be, and you are on the counter

another high surface such a s a dresser or desk or bookshelf can be substituted
if no counter can be procurered easily

Tuesday, April 03, 2001
I had the run of the apartment all to myself this weekend
it was a refreshing change and fairly liberating
the other cat and I redecorated the living room
she makes nests with torn up tissue that she grabs right from the box
It is a marvelous invention, she proclaims
You pull one out of the box and another one appears to take its place
Modern technology has been kind to grant us such innoventsions

so the other cat pulls tissues from the box and tears them up
and then we spend hours arranging them just so on the flloor
It was rather nice and cvery constrcuctive way to spend the weekedn
then the guy returned and he brought with him the vacuum cleaner
I was not too hoappy to see it back
After all, what did I do to deserve that fate?!

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I am poewered by food