NOw that there is a moment I can tell you about a handy hint for watching TV
everybody loves to watch telvision
but sometimes when you are wathcing and you really like it
SOmeone changes the channel
but wait I was watcing that and it was JUst getting interesting

so the next time that happens to you here is what you do
I mean you have to do this Before it happens to you
outherwise it just doesnt quite work

SO there you are on the couch (ps you are a cat)
and you are watching television happily
and then the announcer comes on and says next up we will show you how bottlecaps are made
and you think Well this will be very intriguing
I have always wanted to know this
but then someone on the couch says "time to change the cahnnel"
NO IT IS NOT
here is what you do

you go to sleep
right on their lap or on their legs or howveer they are sitting
SLEEP ON THEM
and be sure to look extra comfortable and happy
EVen if it is not quite the most comfortable place ever
one time I fell asleep on a shoe
I do not recomend it unless you like shoes
anyway now you are happy and alseep
and they will say wait I cant get up to change the channel because the cat is so happy and peaceful I do not want to disturb it
wait I will use the remote
oh
IU forgot to mention
before you do allthis
be sure to hide the remote

well now
if you have done everything then you can enjoy what you want to watch
just kind of move your head towars the television set
and watch through your eyes
dont forget you have to pretend you are still asleep
but if you have come this far then that is easy as pie

there is something SMall on the table
I am going to go knock it off
bye
- posted by Abbie @ 11:48 PM 4 comments

 
I was at home
I was napping upstairs and the guy was napping so there was a nap
then I got up and said Im hungry and went downstairs

downstairs theother guy was doing something in the living room
he is what you would calla Troubleamaker
he somestimes says hello abbie you are a cat
and I say yes and hes ays oh good just reminding you of your place in the world
gee thanks for that reminder

he ahs also puled stunts like this
hello abbie he says come over here
okay says I this is fun
then he says I am going to put water onyour head
contrararty to what other cats think, I dont mind water all that muhc
in the summertime theres nothing better to keep you cool
if you have long hair and you dont want to shave it all off
because then you woould look like a FOol
the girl was tehre too, she was fully involved in this i want the record to show
then he ocmbs me when my hair si well and duly wet
and says there, Now you have a mohawk
I am not as thirlled as all that with these turns of events
then the guy comesdown stairs and says hey who gave the cat a wethead
dont look at me, try those poeple over there who cant stop giggling
meanwhile I am goign to go over and search the trashcans to find my dignity
it might be hinidg in there
and food

so there he was troublemaker sam (taht is not his real name)
and he had a camera looking out the window
at squirrels
there is a window out there
and on the other side is a bowl
and in the bowl you put in things you think squirels would like to eat
and then they come by and you Obnserve them
it is very convenient you see

looka t that i say he is making the squirrel show, everybody watch thesquirel show
i cant see the squirrel
move the camera
I Want to see the squirrel

eventualy I decided that the squirrel show has been cacenceld, it had bad ratings, because only one camera was wathching it and no cats were
so I stepped in to help and the squirrel show becames the ABbie show
starring ABbie
heres the theme
it's the abbbie show, the abbie show
everybody wants to watch the abbie show
(the Insturments go crazy here with lots of music)
there'll be ME abbie here and maybe I will do stuff
or just eat and fall asleep
only on the ab
bie
shoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow

todays episode of the abbie show is Abbie watches squirels
it is called THe ONe where Abbie watches the squirrels
and you can see it here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEcpIwf2-mY

critics have called the makers of the abbie SHow to task for putting telvevision personaility over storylines
and they say the abbie hsow is very little on plot
pah i say in response this is an atmospheric show if you want a story go over and watch the story show
here on this show things are simple
there are squirrels
ME abbie watches squirrels
then I go do something else
thats a good enough story for me today
- posted by Abbie @ 10:15 AM 13 comments

 
well ther ewas GReat excitement yesterday
I had wona amajor award or something
they said Hey abbie you are officialy the Sassiest cat of the year
in this house at least
and therefor you will get a nice Helping of tuna fish right here inyour bowl

hurray says I for it is always a good day when that happens
and whatdyou know but there was asome fish in my bowl
I ate it very quickly
it is a rule you know
eat as fast as ye can the rule says
for all you know it could turn out to be an illusion
LIke in the desert

so ten seconds later the tuna was gone
well not rteally gone
I knew where it was

and everything was Fine

but there is another rule that I forgot
it says But Dont eat so FAST or else Urp
and thats what happened
Urp
there was no more tuna in the bowl
but there was tuna on the floor

I looked at it
and i Looked around
nobody had seen it happen
so I had a little CHeck
it was tasty the first time
and it was tasty the second time
so lets dig in

Well you never heard such a hue and cry in your life
hey Abbie what are you doing
oh for gods sake cat
someone disttract him while I get the paper towels
use the shiny thing

anywya they took away my Major award
and I a m rightly miffed
they gave it to tme
it was MIne
and I should be able to Do with it as I please
- posted by Abbie @ 7:13 AM 7 comments