Abbie The Cat Has A Posse
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
 
Hello it's your old pal again Martha.
Abbie is still in major trouble and he wont be on the computer for the rest of the week.
This gives me time to use the computer.
I play games and I draw pictures but I erase them afterwards and I visit websites.
The only thing I cant do on the computer is play ebay.
This is the story of why I can't go to ebay.
One time I went to ebay.
There was something on ebay once that was cool.
The game on ebay is to say how much you would pay for it.
I said I would pay five dollars.
Then ebay said beep someone else said they would pay six dollars.
So I said I would pay seven dollars.
Then ebay said beep someone else said they would pay eight dollars.
This is where you see that I am clever.
I said well okay I will pay ten dollars, ha.
Then ebay said beep someone else said they would pay twelve dollars.
Well of all the nerve.
So I said well I would pay twenty dollars.
Then Abbie came by and asked me what I was doing, and I said I was playing the ebay game.
He said how do you do that and I said by telling ebay how much you would pay for something for instance this picture of a pirate ship.
He said where are you going to get the money to pay ebay for the picture?
And I said you dont have to pay, you just pretend you will.
He said he didn't think that is how the game worked.
But then I looked at the rules and the rules said that if you won the ebay game you really did have to pay.
And that's in real money.
Well that is a stupid game.
You win and you have to pay money sounds like you don't win to me.
Lucky for me someone else said that they will pay twenty-one dollars for the picture of the pirate ship and I said okay.
It is all a shame though.
It was a nice looking pirate ship.
I am typing very slowly on this so that abbie sees me on the computer.

Saturday, February 05, 2005
 
Hello, it's me again, Martha.
I am writing today because Abbie cannot write today.
He is not writing because he lost his computer privileges.
He lost his computer privileges because he did something very bad.
He hurt someone and you are not supposed to hurt anyone.
And someone can be anyone.
I dont think he meant to hurt anyone.
And he didn't mean to hurt someone.
But I told him if he didn't stop running around in the middle of the night he was going to hurt someone.
And he said ha to me and kept running.
And he ran on the bed, and he wanted to jump onto the windowsill.
I think there were things outside he wanted to see.
I don't know.
I do know that he is just a foolish cat because he didn't look where he was leaping.

So when he jumped on the bed, he actually jumped onto someone's head first.
And then he jumped onto the windowsill.
When he was on their head.
So he scratched them.
On the eyebrow.
And what do you know, he hurt them.
And they were sleeping.
I was sleeping, too, right close by.
I had to wake up too because everybody was awake at that point.
And there was bleeding.
They had to clean it up.
Did you know pirates used to paint the floors of their ships red, so the blood did not show up and upset everybody when there was a fight.
So anyway there turned out to be a really big cut and it looks wicked.
There will be a scar and everything.
Scars are great.
They mean you have had your lumps in a fight and you came out okay.
I suggested an eyepatch even though the cut is above the eye.
Eyepatches are neat but not for too long because I like to see in 3D.


But because he was bad he is not allowed to use the computer for a while.
This makes him sad because I think he was playing a game that he really liked.
And now he can't play his game until he apologizes.
He wont apologize.
He didn't apologize for the time when he bit my ear for no reason when I said good day to him and wasn't it a lovely day.
He didn't apologize for the time when he grabbed the tuna fish from the bowl and ran and hid and wolfed it down and I got no tuna fish to eat.
He didn't apologize for the time when he did his business in the fireplace and not the litterbox.
I don't think he has an apologizing bone in his body.
And trust me he is big enough that he has a lot of bones.

But I'll tell you one thing.
He's very lucky he scratched up the guy and not me.
Because if it was me he scratched up, I would have beaten him up.
Thrashed him soundly and keelhauled him.
As it stands he didn't get beat up.
But he sure got yelled at a lot.
And now he is in the doghouse.
Although we don't have a doghouse because there is no dog, he is in it anyway.

Okay that's all the news for today. Bye


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