Abbie The Cat Has A Posse
Friday, March 28, 2003
 
wellsomething is up and i odnt know what
but I do know that when we camehere there was a rule
and that the ruls were that no vacum cleaners would be in here
I made that rule up myself

only now today there is one and it is getting louder
i fear i will have to stop writing soon and sit where it cannot find me
maybe in a box

Sunday, March 16, 2003
 
well that is just dandy
who knocked the mattrerss down, that's what I'd like to know
it was up agaisnt the wall and then one day it fell
boom

maybe someobeody was finally chekcing upon the rumor that behind the mattress there was tasty chicken
I don't know

I'm just not going near there again any time soonthank you very much

Friday, March 07, 2003
 
i just wanted to tell the nice people about the pirates

 
WHOA
OKAY
get OUT of my blog, you
you are not suoposed to be reading or writing on this and if you Write aynymore I will have to report YOu to the FBI
okay that message was directed to SOMEone in pairticular and she knows who she is

now this ijust makes me cranky
okay so I had to go to the hopsital on sunday or saturady and it was Not fun
it was all beacuse I was sick right and there is nowhere else you can go when you are sick except to the hosptial
so there I was asnd it was dark and I was in ar oom with other cats and they all had complaints of their own
do not burden me with yoru complaints says I for I am here on my own complaint
and they just pooh poohed and waaahed and grumbled some more

the treatmtnt at the hostpial is not one i would recommend to a friend or acquintance
first you get a shot and get real sleepy
and when your guard is down thats when they jump in with a big frily collar that makes your head stick out
and then that's when they put a tube where a tube shouldNOT GO
amnd I MEAN THAT emphatically

but alil in all it was pretty restful
I mean you get to sleep all you want and everynow and then someone comes around and says you are good
and you get to eat too
the bad parts is that you get the colar and the tube and the shot and you have to listen to everybody else around you
moaning about how miserable they are andhow Awful it is to be here and how they wantt to be home
wah wah whine whine all the day long
you dont hear Me complaining toom uch and I had a stupid collar on an d there was a tube where tubes shoudl NOT GO
I say that AGAIN emphatailcally because I feel it is an importatn point to make
also you smellfunny if you stay there too long

now I am home and able to read things and write tahings again and thakn you for the mail
I got some getwell mails and a card with things on it that I read
and that was very ncie so thank yo u very much and I will try to tel you to get well the necxt time you are Sick

your carads and letters were very nice and ehlpful unlike Other certain parties I could name
and I am positvely grumpy about this uNwearranted invastion of privacy
your webpage should be yours and whats all this about pireates anway
I swear that cat is obsessed in a very unhealthy way
and i should know about unhealthy because i got to speak to a lLot of doctors this week


Tuesday, March 04, 2003
 
hey it's me martha back again with another fascianting episode of pirate facts

okay did you know that pirates called a flag 'colors'
this is because there were colors on the flag
in engaland the flags were called 'colours'

second did you know that buccanneers are called that not because of their ears
it has to do with the fact that tthey liked to eat beef jerky, for serious

and finally pirates were usally caught and caputred and then hung in thegibbet
so that other pirates would see that uh oh another pirate has been caught and executed so you better stay away and maybe reforme your wicked ways

i do not wish to reform my wicked ways because i am super sneaky and will never get caught

 
hello this is martha and hey look i have my own writing name now

ok here's the scoop you are all waiting for

pirates are people who lived a long time ago and saild ships in the days when people sailed the ocean in ships

they were very mean and not at all nice and some of them were very ugly, because sometimes they get scars when they fight

they had a flag that was called the jolly roger and when they hoised it up on the flagpole that meant it was time to be pirates and plunder villages and other ships and take the loot and bury it

they had a lot of cannons and they shot stuff and they burned stuff and one time they sank stuff in the water and sent it to davy jones

pirates were supposed to be the bad guys but sometimes today we think they're the good guys too

oh and abbie is doing better but i haven't told him about taking over his name yet

Monday, March 03, 2003
 
HELLO THIS IS STILL MARTHA AND I AM STILL A PIRATE

here is a list of things a pirate says
yarrr
weigh the gibbets
raise the fleet an' strike me swag, ye scurvy sea-cook
plunder that tuna an' maroon the sloops
arr, raise yer yardarm
yarr, swab me grapples an' set sail for yer bowsprit, ye yellow-bellied sons of swabbies


 
HELLO THIS IS MARTHA
AND I BELIEVE AN EXPLANATION IS IN ORDER

OKAY FIRST THIS IS NOT ABBIE THIS IS MARTHA AND I FOUND HIS LOGIN
HE REALLY NEEDS TO LOG OUT OF HIS WEBSITES BEFORE HE GOES AWAY
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE USED THE COMPUTER AND READ WHAT HE HAS WRITTEN
AND I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT MOST OF HIS TALK ABOUT ME IS NOTHING BUT VICIOUS LIES AND SLANDER
FOR ONE HE HAS NOT WON NEarly as many fights with me as he has said he has

so you're probably wondering where abbie is, well i will tell you
he is in hospital right now because he had to go on saturday night
he was diaganosed with big stupid cat disease
which means he is a big stupid cat, ha ha
and the only cure is to go to hospital

ok i realy don't know what he has but i bet it's the same thing he had before
i heard on the phone today that he is doing okay though and will be out in a few more days after they run tests
hopefuly when he comes back he wont be so big or stupid
in the meantime i have taken over the bed

if you are wondering about me my name is martha and i'm a pirate

Saturday, March 01, 2003
 
urp
I am not feeling so well today I am sorry
not much more to write
I am trying to sit somewhere else


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