Abbie The Cat Has A Posse
Sunday, November 30, 2003
so farthings have been going ok
i am rapidly becoming QUite the chef
did you know that instead of just eating food you can cook it
It is true

for instance take tuna
it is very good on its own you must admit
but it is even better when mixed in with things

so here is my receipie for a recipie with tuna
it is called Tuna DElicious because that's what it is

From the kitchen of ABBIE THE CAT

YOu will need:
a can of Tuna (this is IMPORTANT)
2 or 3 Cups of pasta (like macaroni or ziti or Curley macaroni but dont try it with something flat)
some mayonase (this is ALSO IMPORTANT)
ranch sald dressing (this is the SECRET INDGREDIENT)
maybe celry if you are weird (this is OPTIONAL and i MEAN IT)

FIRSt what you have to do is put a lot of water in a pot and make it boil
oops I am sorry I shoudl have said up there that you need water too
when the Water is finally boilling you put in the pasta and let it cook for however long the box says to cook it for
2 cups is usally enough but 3 works if the Macaroni is small
oh and by Cups I dont mean like any old cup it has to be marked as a cup or you might get into trouble

okay next what you do while the pasta is cooking is open the can of tuna
THis is the best part hooray
you will need to Drain the Tuna and this means you can pour some into MY DISH
and then you can also leave the can but no sharp edges on the can okay leave the lid out

then you put the tuna in a bowl and scoop a bit of mayonise into it too
as much as you can get on a fork and not hvae it fall on the ground
you can also put in a littl of that ranch dressing too, it's okay
then you mix it all up with a fork

now here is the Controverslial part
some people (who are WEIRD) like to cut up some celry and put it in the bowl too
or maybe some relish they like to add
I will stress this may be good for some people but not for cats
because when I am eating tuna mind you this is what I think
"my this is delicious tuna and it is very tasty and good"
but if I then crunch on some celery while I eat the tuna I think "this is not right becaus tuna is not supposed to crunch like this except if it has bones which this tuna MOst Emphathically does not"
so you can put the celeery in your food if you really want but I must warn you
it will have to selttle to be named Tuna Okay instead of TUna Delicious

OH look while we were talkng the pasta is done
so put it in the strainer (oh yeah you need a strainer too) and then back in the pot once the water is gone
now you can add the tuna that you have in the bowl
don't worry about getting all the tuna into the pot because you can leave the bowl down by MY DISH and I will make sure it is cleaned
I canot eat too much mayonaise though

now mix it all up
add some more ranch dressing too while you're at it
this can be done To Taste which means you mix some in and then you Taste it and then you mix some more in and you Taste it and if you like it then you're done mixing

scoop howmuch you want into a bowl and eat it
then you will be happy

unless you don't like tuna in which case I hope you made a different dish tonight

Tuesday, November 18, 2003
OKAy here is the thing

she keeps thinking that everything is swetness and light and that inorder to be happy you just have to jump around a lot
and make up mean poems about others who are maybe not so OPtimistic as you

well maybe someitmes it is not
you know

seethe other day i was sleeping and I dreamed
I dreamed i was ridingthe rails on the railroad
and we were going to all sorts of wonderful places
jumping around on the freight cars adn poking around the mail car and seeing what tasty food there was in the dining car
and the eingineer thought I was good luck and he gaveme a bandana
and the conductor said well well well if it isnt abbie the railroad cat and he gave me a whistle to wear aroundmy neck
I never did figure out how to use it

and then IWent to the passengers car and all the people inside said hurray for abbie the railroad cat
and oh the songs they wrote about me on the rails
and i ate mulligan stew with the hobos and I ate beans and coffee with the brake men in the caboos
(I donot like coffee regularly but I guess in a dream it was good)
oh the life of a raildroad cat is the life for me
becaus you still have to look out windows but it is afascinating blur
andevery day there is a new town

the dream was so good I meowed
and imeowed so loud I woke myself up
that was when I was sad because I cant go back to that dream
I'll just have to have another

Sunday, November 16, 2003
Hello, it's me again Martha.
Today I ought to tell you that I went up to Abbie and told him I was writing in his blog.
He didnt get mad.
I asked him if he wanted to say anything while I typed.
He said no.
I asked him if he was going to get angry that I was writing.
He said not really.
I asked him what he was doing.
He said he was making plans.
I asked him what plans.
He said he didn't know, he was just thinking.
And then he licked his paw and turnd around on the bed and went to sleep.

So what I have to say is that its really not all that much fun to be taking over his stuff if he isnt going to get mad at me for it.
I dont even think he knows I took all his bottlecaps and put them in my pirate trasure.


Saturday, November 15, 2003
Hello, this is Martha and I am writing in the bloog today because Mr Abbie cannot be bothered to.
He really has become quite a bother in recent days you see not wanting to do anything in the way of work.
He has preferred to do nothing more than just sit around eating choclates and reading magazines.
Though they are not really chocolates you understand, they are bits of meat or a chessy noodle or whatever he has found in the trash.
I myself am aperfect pirate and would not stoop to rummaging through the trash for my deliicious feast.
I am always Very Patient and will ask you for a bit of food though I will ask nicely and patiently because that is its own reward.

And so when I askedhim if he was going to write more on the internet he said he was very busy at the moment.
And you should have seen it because if anything he was VERY BUSY DOING NOTHING!
So I wrote a poem about him and if you would like to hear it this is how it goes:

Abbie the Cat
is really quite fat
there's a dent in the hat
from where he sat.

If you liked the poem then thank you if you did not like the poem well phooey on you cause that's all I got.


Saturday, November 01, 2003
this is what i got yesterday from trick ro treating:

astyrofoam meat tray
cheese saucepacket and noobdles inside
a wrapper for somethign I don't know what it was but I licked it and it was good

then I pulled a trick
but I willnot say what thet rick is
but it involved toilet paper
happy hallowenn

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