Abbie The Cat Has A Posse
Monday, December 24, 2001
thi si my CHrfistmas story
it is called A CHristmas Carol
i have been since informed that the name is not exactly the most Original of names to use
but neither is the story ecause I watched it on TV

it is the story of Abbie and he is a cat and he knows a mean guy
who does not give any special good thigns to eat
except for catfood and even then the bowl is never 100% full all the time
you must agree with me that this is a skinflint and miser we're dealing with here

so one night as it happens to be Christmas the guy not Abbie is visited by three spriits
the first is the spirit of Cat Foodpast
and says remember when they were kittens and you spoiled them rotten?
And the guy says "yes but we didn't know what we were doing and so they got spoiled"

and then there is the spirot of CAT Food PResents
and he says "look at your cats now and how they are wasting away and starving and sad for they have no treats"
and the guy says "well abbie doesn't look starving to me, in fact he is quite plump and rather fat."
That is the part of the story where I jump up on his head and show him a thing or two

Finally we come to the Sprit fo Cat Foods in the future and it has a rocket car
and the spirit sasys Look upon your cats now in the Future and see what you have done
and the guy says "but they're both fine, look, they're happy and eating well"
and the psirit says "but they also poop in your shoes"

then there is reconciliation and reformation and all live happily ever after
it is not a coincidence that I told this story tonight while we all sat around the television
and then I recevied part of a baked potato with cheese on it and I was happy
it is a Christmas miracle

Sunday, December 09, 2001
it is snowing
and it is outside and Not inside because we are here and warm
outside it is cold and wet
I know because one time in another house I ran out the door and stepped in it
and it was cold and I did not like it, so inside we stsay
when it snows

but they bring machines outside and the machines are LOUD
and the machines deal with the SNOw and I don't know what but it is loud
is there no end to this madness

Thursday, December 06, 2001
crazy crazy crazy day
quick let's all be crazy

it is not enough to celebrate crazy day by actling like a goon
No, Sir
You must express your Crazy in unique ways
stand out from the Other crazy goons in your world
I am cleberating by pretending there are Monsters after me
and to get rid of them I must run around in circles
You might think that doing that would make the Monsters dizzy
But THAT IS not the case
It would be true if this was NOt Crazy
but today is CRAZY DAY
runing around in circles makes the monsters want to go out to a restaurnt instead of eating you
THAT is why it is CRAZY

this morning the other cat woke up
and meowed five times
and went back to sleep
meow meow meow meow meow
if she thinks that's the beall and end all of crazy she sure has Another Think coming

Monday, December 03, 2001
well, well, well
We have been away for al ong time haven't we
I shall remedy this situation and RIght Quick

I am writing to let you kno that I have won the World Champtionship in Thingy Catch
i don't know what this thingy is but it is plastic and has a little metal bit on it and it is MINE
and you can throw this thingy and I will chase after it
and catch it and bring it back to you so you can throw it again

And if you throw it high up enough I will bat it in MID-air and watch it fly away
and then runa fter it band bring it back fo ryou to throw again

it is a very ingenious game if I do say so myself
I am glad I thought of it
it is also very intersting and keeps me busy
and I win at it every single time

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