Abbie The Cat Has A Posse
Saturday, May 26, 2001
to suffer the indignity of being HELD DOWN
and some FOULTASTING PILLTHING is for me to eat?


they tried hiddening it in a piece of delicious salmon
that food is tasty and you have ruined its fresh fish taste
they tried hidding it in a cat treat
that cat treats are bad?!

this is blaltntly unfair treatment
I demand a recount

Thursday, May 24, 2001
well, this morning was unlike many other mornings and for a reason
WE got shipped up rather early adn into the cat carrier
which contains the specila blanket we remember so well from the last time we were put in the cat carrier

and then into the car we went and I don't mind telling you
I dno NOT like cars
they rumble and groan and creak and sway and I cannot keep sateady a balance
and I will only sa I kept a brave a face as possible and only meowed a lot because I wanted to keep the guy company
and let him know that he was drivin VERY LSOWLY

this trip tot he vets wasn't all that bad
we didn't get any shots or anythign like that
just a little poking around the netherregions and I tolerated it as best I could
(It is fasicnating in the veterinaarian offices, you know
with smells and things to look at and you have to be on your toes because you often hear dogs barking)
then the vet talked with the guy for a bit and I will you spare the details because they're rather cliniclal
and the upshot of it was that we got to take home a lot of extra new food
The vet called me a glutton ad I was ready to make him take it back but he said it was good, because that means I'll probbaly eat the food with less hesitation

he does not know who he is dealing with
there is a short list of thigns I Will Not Eat and catfood is NOT on that list

oh and when I said We back there I was susing the Royal WE
the other cat had to stay home
she doesnt know what she missed
they got to put me on the scale and weigh me
I am just about 15 pounds just like the picture says

Monday, May 21, 2001
It is spring time and everybody always knows what spring time means
it is the time for the going out and having picnics
and Everybody loves picniscs

But if you are a cat like me and you cannot always go Outside for picnis
here is my Recipe for Sure-FIRE Picnic Fun Indoors style

as you know the best part of the picnics is the COOK OUT
and for the cookout you need hotdog rolls or hamburger buns
so you do Not get hot foodon you

so all you really need for picniks fun is HOTDOG ROLLS
and if you find the rolls on the counter then ther eyou go!
Rip em apart and have your very own Fun Picnic InDoors
I did this today and it was very enjoyable until I got caught

Friday, May 18, 2001
so he is watching television, right
and he gets up and oges into the other room to do stuff
and he thoughtfully leaves the television on foreme to watch
but he mutes the sound so i Must make up what the people are saying

so in Big New Alien Action Theater there was this woman and an alien and they teamed up to go around a spacehship and there were people shooting and then they called the ninjas in but the ninjas looked like little aliens and then the flashing on the screen hurt my eyes so I curled up and went to sleep.

uh oh
now we have problems
there is a loud loud buzzing sound outside
this is indicative of the outdoor buzzing thing that is probably like a vacuum cleaner
and I cannot let that EVIL machine get in side because you know it only wants to cause trouble
if I go under the couch it will not see me at home and thus go away and find some other cat to bother

so I am going now
k thx bye

Sunday, May 13, 2001
we have learned something tonight

after a great game and a merry romp I was picked up and lectured on causality
and how certain actions will invariably lead to other actions

I was suppsedto learn that when I jupm up on the windowsilll that I"m not supposed to be on at night and bat at the blinds, I will get chased away by a giant hulking shape going WBWAAAAAAAAAAAAR

I was looked at and lectured at and picked up and lectured at and chased away and lectured at and I have found that the best defense is a good indifferent blank stare aimed at some point above and to the side of the eyes of whoever's lecturing you

so after a few hours (well, it felt like hours) of this fun we were trudged into the kitchen and the bowl of food was refilled so there was no bare bowl showing

I guess we did learn a little bit about cause-and-effect tonight

Wednesday, May 09, 2001
vblogger was down last night so I could not report in
hopefully it is up and running well now. I have had no complaints as of yet with the connection

and nothing too special to report.
I guess one's fifth year of existence starts off slowly
we've been keeping the sliding door open more often since it is warm

I have been told in no uncertain terms to not rip the screen down and i Swear I have been behaving and following these orders but sometimes a bug flies close to the screen and I cannot tell if the bug is on my side of the screen or the outside of the screen so I have to check just for the sake of accuracy and faiurness in reporting

I hope you understand.

fights this week won by me: 7
fights this week won by the other cat: 0
fights this week the other cat thinks she won but I did instead: 2

Wednesday, May 02, 2001
today was our birthday
well, actually, monday was but we did not Observe it until today
some might call it bad planning but we call it Hey. if it's your day, you can celberate it whenevr you damn well want

we both got to spend a little bit of time outside on the balcony
held, of course, so that we did not immediately terrorize the neighborhood
and tehere was much to be made of the feather on a stick that I hate so
I could jsut grab it and tear it apart with my teeth raaar
No, seriously it mocks me
It mocks me and I must eat it

then for dinner we had tuna melts
well, the other cat and I didn't have sandwichs but we did have tuna
and our catfood was spruced up all tuna-like too

and then we sat around licking our paws because they tasted like Tuna

all in all not a bad way to spend one's fourth birthday
we must have one again sometime

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