tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27550112024-03-23T14:31:35.117-04:00Abbie The Cat Has A PosseHi my name is Abbie and I am a cat and I am writing all about me and the other cat and the people in this place.Abbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.comBlogger224125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-34790828323013542412013-07-23T21:37:00.000-04:002013-07-23T21:47:41.547-04:00In Memoriam<div align="center">
<img src="http://www.spatch.net/abbietags-small.jpg" /><br />
<b>April 30, 1997 - July 23, 2013</b><br />
<i>He was a Good Cat.</i></div>
Abbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-72303620102560194712013-07-22T05:59:00.002-04:002013-07-22T06:14:07.680-04:00Dear readers and friends of Abbie the Cat,<br />
<br />
It is with a heavy and desolate heart that I write to inform you that Abbie the Cat is dying.<br />
<br />
He has terminal pancreatic cancer which has spread to his chest, making it terribly hard for him to breathe. We had no idea and he wasn't sharing any of his pain with us. Things suddenly flared up a week ago Saturday, when he started breathing too shallow and too rapidly to be healthy. The emergency vet we took him to drained his chest of a large amount of fluid which had been restricting his lungs, and ran some tests. There were three possible diagnoses, none of them good; the worst was cancer. An ultrasound taken on Friday revealed the worst.<br />
<br />
At the present, he is currently lying down in a cool living room, hunkered down in one of his favorite boxes, close to the hanging catnip plant which once used to dangle far too low for its own good. He has stopped eating; he had been taking baby food up until yesterday. Not even salmon would get his attention--and for the biggest mooch I've ever known to turn down fish, that is a bit of a shock. He has kept drinking all this time, and we've swapped out his water for Pedialyte so that he gets as much nutrients as he can while he can. Still, he has lost his strength. He is tired. He has lost so much weight. But he is home, where there are people who love him, and this is where he will stay. It is now just a matter of time.<br />
<br />
The living room is now a Cat Hospice. It even says so on the door. I will not be taking him in for any further vet visits or invasive treatments. I cannot in good conscience let a 16-year-old cat undergo chemotherapy. And while I may have to make the decision to ease his suffering if it becomes too much, I would prefer him to take his leave as he's always left a room: when he's ready. I want to give him that chance. He deserves it, and I trust his judgement.<br />
<br />
It is so hard to say goodbye to a friend of sixteen whole years. I am not one who considers myself Dad to the cat, but I often marveled that I'd gone and raised a teenager. Abbie and his sister Martha helped me through some very rough times, and I nursed them through some rough patches. If you've ever had a cat watch over you as you fall into a troubled sleep, then curl up and sleep beside you, then you know how reassuring and comforting they can be. Aggravations and frustration are temporary; love and companionship are constants. Abbie had the kindest heart I've ever known in a cat. He never knew malice or hate. He never lashed out in aggression. He may have said the occasional cat cuss word, but who hasn't? He knew the sound of my footsteps and, upon my arrival home, would rush to the top of the foyer stairs to meet me and complain all about the injustices which had been heaped upon him that day and maybe also what he ate. (He would not rush to meet other housemates. I hope they did not take it personally.)<br />
<br />
I started this blog twelve years ago on a whim. I have always been very fond of Don Marquis' <a href="http://donmarquis.com/archy-and-mehitabel"><i>Archy and Mehitabel</i></a> as well as <a href="http://www.dianeduane.com/">Diane Duane's</a> wonderful <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Book-Night-Moon-Diane-Duane/dp/0446673021"><i>Book of Night with Moon</i></a> series, and I often wondered what Abbie and his sister Martha were doing exactly while I was away each day at work. Judging from the condition of the apartment sometimes when I returned, it wasn't sleep. Over time, Abbie found a voice, and people found him. I don't know how you did it, but I am glad you did. Martha found her voice too, and then her calling as a pirate; she enjoyed riding around on my shoulder like a parrot enough that she decided to see who else parrots rode around on. And when she passed away nearly eight years ago, half Abbie's current age, there was a tremendous outpouring of love and support from friends and strangers alike. Her final story was one of the hardest things to write, but it was all so very real and powerful that Abbie and I had to get it all out. I still think of her quite frequently, and I know others do. Her farewell post has comments from people who have come back to it time and again as a touchstone; others have come back to read it after losing a cat of their own. It gladdens me to know she could touch so many people, offering comfort and solace in a dark time.<br />
<br />
Abbie's fame, while not enormous enough to warrant a television option or anything like that, grew well beyond what I thought would be. When he got out of the house in 2008 and was gone for two weeks, friends from all over helped in the search. Some even looked in different time zones and continents, just to be sure. Turned out he was just over in the neighbor's garage. They discovered him when they returned from vacation. Friends came over from as far away as the Czech Republic to visit the cat. Maybe me, too. Every now and then I would hear that someone I admired had read his stories; he was once even quoted by Wonkette on, of all things, the 2004 Democratic National Convention. I don't know how these things happen. It is the Internet.<br />
<br />
Most importantly to me, several years ago I heard from folks who had found Abbie from a link on Diane Duane's sidebar. To think that one of the people who inspired his stories and mythos had read him and thought enough to recommend him to others. It is one of the highest compliments I have ever recieved.<br />
<br />
And all because of this cat. This Cat. This fellow whom I adopted when he was six weeks old, and who has traveled with me through nearly half my life. This overly expressive and affectionate curmudgeon, this gourmand of all things People Food, this boon companion and loyal pal, this cat. A good cat. My buddy. And a buddy to a lot of other people, too.<br />
<br />
HarryCat, Scout, Zippy, Sadie and Speedy, Scamp, Annie from Tasmania, Weezer the Amazing Tubcat, Shelley, Anne, Barb, Coriander, T.R., all those who have stopped by to say hello and the lurkers alike, whether you are still with us or have Gone Before, thank you. Because of Abbie and because of you, my life has been so much richer and warmer. We love you. Please keep in touch.<br />
<br />
I did not think it right to announce Abbie's condition in character. I hope, however, that he has a draft of something saved somewhere that I can find and post. He always was a little messy on the computer. It is not in his nature to say goodbye, however, so I must for him.<br />
<br />
Many years ago I read James Herriot's series of veterinarian memoirs and I read them again and again. One passage stands out for me in particular, from an essay I think included in <i>All Creatures Great and Small</i>. It is a conversation Herriot had with an elderly woman whose cats he cared for. You may be familiar with it. The widow confides in him her deepest fear, and Herriot responds with one of the wisest and most comforting philosophies I have ever taken to heart.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"It's the dogs and cats, Mr. Herriot. I'm afraid I might never see them when I'm gone which worries me so. You see, I know I'll be reunited with my parents and brothers, but ... but ..." She gazed at the two cats curled up at the end of her bed. </i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"Well, why not with your animals?" </i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"That's just it." She rocked her head on the pillow and for the first time I saw tears on her cheeks. "They say animals have no souls." </i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"Who says?" </i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"Oh, I've read it and I know a lot of religious people believe it." </i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"Well, I don't believe it." I patted the hand which still grasped mine. "If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. You've nothing to worry about there." </i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"Oh, I hope you're right. Sometimes I lie at night thinking about it." </i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"I know I'm right, Miss Stubbs, and don't you argue with me. They teach us vets all about animals' souls." </i> </blockquote>
Abbie is resting in his box. His eyes are still big and expressive. He purrs when I pet him. He turns his head and very gently licks my wrist, something he has done since the day I first met him. I sat on a couch and they put a black-and-white kitten in my lap. When I reached out my hand and scritched his head, he vigorously licked my wrist.<br />
<br />
oKAy mister you are now my Guy<br />
and I iwll be your ABBIE<br />
what do you think of That<br />
<br />
He lays his head down on his outstretched paws and does his best to breathe. It is frightening, but he is not alone. He is surrounded by the people he has loved and who have loved him for so long. And the cats who have Gone Before are with him. They sit in the shadows and the sun, singing to him a song they have always known. He quietly listens, eyes half closed, and sings along in his head. Soon he will join their song.<br />
<br />
And we will miss him dearly.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
-RobAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com50tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-23873943639523632292013-04-30T23:29:00.001-04:002013-04-30T23:29:05.202-04:00I wasnt doing much of Anything<br />
jus tsleeping in the clean laundry to be honest<br />
when they said Oh hey Abbie you can slep in the laundry ALL you Want today<br />
<br />
sotoday it is my brithday<br />
I am 16 which in cat years is TIME-HONORED<br />
but between you and me<br />
tim enever came up to me and said oh hey abbie we honor you<br />
maybe its just implied<br />
or got lost in the mail<br />
<br />
anyway there is not much to tell here<br />
there was some Fish that came from the restaurant for me tonight<br />
abbie the guy siad this is salmon<br />
I knew that I said and ate it<br />
and this is tuna<br />
I ate that too<br />
here is some scallop and fish row<br />
I didnt eat the fish row<br />
but the scalop was Very good<br />
what is row anyway<br />
<br />
andso time goes on<br />
dont ask me what 15 means in acat years<br />
I forgot what it meant<br />
I know I didnt write last year about the birthday<br />
last year wasnt all that hot<br />
I got staples for crying oUt loud<br />
<br />
<br />Abbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-11507354283390378532013-03-31T00:38:00.001-04:002013-03-31T00:41:26.951-04:00TOday I wrote a New Story<br />
it is a story about the time of year<br />
it is called ABBie the Easter Ham<br />
<br />
I mean abbie ANd the Easter Ham<br />
there is an Important distinction to be made there<br />
one day Abbie woke up<br />
oh the story has started by the way<br />
one day ABbie woke up<br />
he went downstairs<br />
oh boy said abbie today is the day where everybody eats HAm<br />
but he lookd and he looked and there was No Ham to be Found
<br /><br />
hey said Abbie whats with all this no ham nonsense<br />
so he went to the guy
he said HEy guy where is my ham<br />
oh no abbie said the guy There is no ham for you<br />
bushwah said abbie and went to see the lady<br />
hey LAdy he said where is my ham<br />
I dont think there is any ham for cats said the lady
especialy cats that are Inconvenient<br />
after ABbie looked up what INconvenient was and how to spel it he got mad<br />
so what if he likes to sit in the dorway<br />
or on the pillow you wanted to use<br />
<br />
so he ran away
and he found ANother house<br />
they were eating Chicken inside
and I think crackers<br />
and someone asked WHy is this night unlike ANy other night<br />
and Abbie said cause there IS NO HAM<br />
uh oh he got shooed out of there quickly<br />
maybe he should have ASked for some Chicken instead<br />
<br />
so he came back to the house and noticed while he was gone everybody went out
looking for eggs<br />
dont go to the house where they are having chicken said abbie you are too late<br />
but there on the counter
was a shiny new ham<br />
hurray said ABbie this must be my easte rham<br />
and he jumped up and ate it all before anyone got back<br />
The End<br />
<br />
I like stories with HAppy Endings<br />
especially if they involve Ham<br />
<br />
this story was not based on real life but it SHould have been
Abbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-89344504365718084172013-01-14T11:21:00.000-05:002013-01-14T11:23:36.362-05:00not all cats hate water<br>
that is what is known as a Myth<br>
I Mysefl quite enjoyit<br>
under the right cirumstances<br> <br>
I have spent many a happy minute drinking water<br>
and dont really mind the tub<br>
just gettnig into the tub and getting out of it thats waht I hate<br> <br>
so you may know that already<br>
maybe some cat you know has tol dyou they like water<br>
I knew a cat who liked the facuet<br>
and who doesnt<br>
its just hard to turn thats all<br> <br>
but what you may not know is<br>
some cats are sailors<br>
sure<br>
with their owin boats and everything<br>
not many ppeople know this<br>
but the thingabout cat boats<br>
theyre not like regular boats<br> <br>
most boats when they go out they have a Map<br>
and a PLan<br>
we are going to sail here<br>
bring cargo there<br>
have a vacation here<br>
get into a Big War with otherb oats over there<br>
cats well they dont care too much for that kind of thing<br>
that s why you havent ever seen a cat sail a boat<br>
cause they are saiilng some place where there arent boats with maps and plans<br>
off thye go and they say see you when I get back<br>
maybe there will be PInapples<br> <br>
you might very well gues this has its hazards<br>
you only go where you know<br>
or you decide that direction looks good and maybe it is and mabye it isnt<br>
its tough and sometiems you get scared<br>
just a little<br>
but there is a secret<br>
the other cat taught me this one a long time ago<br> <br>
see somtimes hwen you are out on your boat<br>
you run itno another cat on their boat<br>
and instead of saying grr hiss get out of my way Im on a boat here<br>
you say hey lets team up<br>
i dont know where i am going and you dont know where you areg oing<br>
lets not know where we are going together<br>
what have we got to lose<br>
I mean maybe you have seen where those shols are which we should Definitely Avoid<br>
and maybe I have seen really graeat harbor full of fish<br>
if we find that again you will eat for days let me tell you<br>
I think its near fiji<br> <br>
so the cat boats follow eachother and boy is it a time<br>
you share sea chantys and othe rsongs which arent about the sea so yo ucant call them chantys<br>
theyre just songs<br>
but then you both get to someplac and its realy nice<br>
and you say well wel lwell<br>
so thats where we were heading all along<br> <br>
it is anothe rMyth that cats dont need anybody else<br>
for exmaple right now i really need someone to FEED ME<br>
im lookin at anyone who knows where the food is<br>
and you know who you areAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-55089648576414105452012-11-22T23:35:00.000-05:002012-11-22T23:38:33.620-05:00I Have been away for so long I forgot I wrote stuff<br>
and then I forgot I had email too<br>
cats dont usally have email you see so if you get some you think it cant be for me I dont have email<br>
well I guess Id o<p>
people were saying Where are you abbie<br>
i get that a lot<br>
sometimes I get where were you abbie when the chicken disappeared<br>
not near the chicken thats for sure<br>
honest abe<p>
well I am alive and sassy<br>
mostly<br>
a few months ago in the spring someone said oh the basement got floded again its like a swimming pool down there<br>
well I never heard of a sweimming pool downstairs<br>
this bore Investigation<br>
but the door is always closed<br>
so i waited for a few weeks<br>
until the door was open and went down<br>
wouldnt you know there wasnt a swimming pool down there<br>
I dont get people sometimes<br>
ther ewas just a lot of dirt and boxes<br>
didnt smell so good let me tell you<br>
anyway I explored some more but when I went back up the door was shut<br>
this was No good<br>
I had to find a place to sleep and it was very uncomfortable<br>
and I got scaratched but I wont tell you what by<br>
its pretty embarrassing<p>
eventually SOMEBODY noticed I was not hanging around being hungry as usual<br>
so they all said I wonder where abbie is<br>
and after looking around they said maybe he telaported to the basement through the door<br>
which obviously had been closed all along cause we never keep the door open<br>
well thats where I was and I surely rergret it because there wasnt any food down there<br>
and then they said oh abbie look you scartched yourself and it dont look too good<br>
yeah I said it was a pain<br>
so off we went to the vet<br>
Ishould have just said oh thats just my new tatoo<br>
it only loks like a scaratch<br>
did you know at the vet they have something called stapls<br>
well they did that to my scratch only they called it a wound<br>
they shaved around the scratch and then stapled it<br>
then thye said you have to make sure the wound is clean all the time<br>
and to do that the best way is to wash the cat<br>
so I had to take a bath<p>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih7psMm0SUvnPycvnOWNlnIdLtuTsl1oHdKIdQDAcugRHpeTZm_QZocRcyMm6GIN9CGHowm0C4KaiyntMaFaJQdd9fcpDYxrq-WwL55Q4C-IRxdQ14pJ7unnIwGrmTMrK_FlQRKw/s1600/abbie-bath.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih7psMm0SUvnPycvnOWNlnIdLtuTsl1oHdKIdQDAcugRHpeTZm_QZocRcyMm6GIN9CGHowm0C4KaiyntMaFaJQdd9fcpDYxrq-WwL55Q4C-IRxdQ14pJ7unnIwGrmTMrK_FlQRKw/s400/abbie-bath.jpg" width="400" /></a><p>
I really should have said it was a tatoo<br>
notice the guy has a bandage on his hand<br>
I got him real good when he tried to put me in the tub<br>
but HE DIDNT HAVE TO GET NO STAPLeS NO SIR<p>
oh I should mention I didnt spend all this time in the basement<br>
just one night but that was all it took<br>
the staple came out later<p>
anyway I have just eaten some turkey<p>
Abbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-21658266545213381792011-12-12T18:33:00.005-05:002011-12-12T19:20:30.040-05:00heard it again<br />another ones walked away<br />still LIngers in the shadows and the sun<br />good fellow this time too<br />well most of us are goodonce were gone<br />the bad parts go away because who Wants to think about them anwyay<br />others I guess its just good they are gone<br />and we leave it at that<br />I never knew any of them personaly<br /><br />everynow and then I ithink I see the other cat<br />where she would be<br />I dont need to tell you where those spots are because you know wherethey are<br />they are where she Would be<br />and somet imes when I am just dozing off<br />I swear I hears it<br />she says hey sleepyface wake up theres a mouse <br />practically RUnning upt o you<br /><br />usualy I get up and the mouse is there<br />and then it is on<br />because if I go back to sleep I Probably wouldnt hear the end of it<br />sheesh look at him just ignorin his duties<br />someone oughta keelhaul you slacker<br />etcetera<br /><br />I think she is just a litle bit jealous<br />because I have lived nearly Twice as long as she<br />well lemme tell you sister it aint ALways been a bed of roses that extra time<br />some of that EXtra time was spent growing older and slower and crankier<br />who knew<br />anwyay I willbe gone some day and then what<br /><br />Ill tell you what<br />if she asks me then how I SAPent all my extra time<br />I am gonna say well you oughta know cause YOu were there bugging me for most o fit<br />we doze off a lot as a general rule<br /><br />cats also dont waste too much time as a generaul rule ewither<br />theres a cat saying<br />time wasted is still time spent<br />you cant do anything else with time but spend it<br />thats all I know about ecomonmics<br /><br />started typing my stories ten and a HAlf years ago<br />thats a mighty long time for a cat<br />some keyboards were easiert o use than others<br />anyway these stories are MINE<br />spent my time you see and I got em in return<br />and if the other saying you cant take it with you is true<br />then they stya here when I am gone<br />thats pretty good right<br />the Internet doesnt do a very good job of forgetting sometimes<br /><br />but I heard a Story once<br />he said he heard it from another guy<br />which was all about a King back in the day<br />I Mean a long time ago<br />and this king thought so much of himself that he put up a STatue of hismelf<br />and it was big<br />and on it he wrote man OH man look at how big I am<br />and all of my stuff<br />look at ALL OF MY STUFF<br />only now there wasnt any Stuff to look ata nymore<br />I tol dyou it had been a long time ago<br />And the statue well it was pretty much gone But just the legs stayed<br />also the part he wrote<br /><br />I htink maybe he carved it instead<br /><br />anwyay I think I sure do have one up on the king<br />sure I like to talk about all my stuff<br />but I already know Ive lost a bit of it<br />do you think the old king ever figured<br /><br />some of the stuff I lose ends up under the couch<br />others just the shadows and the sunAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-88238272391080772862011-10-26T08:04:00.002-04:002011-10-26T08:20:07.966-04:00well you May be curious to know<br />I have been learning how to drwaw comibooks<br />theyre pretty tough to draw to be honest<br />i am having a time of it with the pen<br />they dont show you all the parts in the comic book<br />where they didnt hold the pen right<br />or they knokced the ink over by accident and it blotched on the Paper<br />or they acidentally stepped on the paper before the inky dried and put prints all over the place<br />there is a lot in comic books that can happen by Accident<br /><br />sofar I have not done a lot with superheros<br />they are everywhere and anyway my superhero is a ninja and he was not in this story<br />instead i decided to play a villin<br />and batman is full of them<br />so here is part of the comicbook I wrote about batman and me abbie the match he has met<br />i figure even if i end up not drawrirng it then the instructions will help whoever it is do it<br /><br />title<br />batman has met his match <br />by ME abbie<br /><br />panel 1<br />you see gotham city and all the poeple are sad<br />the caption says "This is Gotham city and all the people are sad"<br /><br />panel 2<br />you see people in gotham city being sad and they are also hungry (you have to draw them being hungry)<br />the caption says "they are hungry but they have nothing to eat"<br /><br />panel 3<br />one of the sad people is saying "who took all the food we were going to eat?"<br />word bubble: "Who took all the food we were going to eat?"<br />the word bubble is coming from the sad person<br /><br />panel 4<br />this might be a big panel<br />there is a SHAdowy Figure sitting in a big pile of stolen food. if it is TOo hard to draw you can make it crates labeled "FOOD"<br />caption: "Who indeed, for hidden away deep is a Shadowy Figure who knows who did it!"<br />other caption: "Meanwhile, in a secret hidden abandoned warehouse..."<br />maybe also you could make the shadowy figure saying "ha ha ha!"<br /><br />panel 5<br />we are looking at the shadowy figure and he is dramatically walking into a light<br />he is saying "I know who did it!"<br />I guess yo uknow where the word bubbles go at this point<br /><br />panel 6<br />the shadowy figure is cheering in victory and he is standing in the light and not so shadowy anymore<br />and it is ME in my super villin outfit<br />I say "And the reason I know who did it is because I did it! I am THE MOOCH"<br /><br />and then make big words saying "BEWARE... THE MOOCH"<br /><br />that's all I got so far in comic book form<br />but the mooch is a most formidable enemy<br />he is quick as lightning and can steal your food before you know you even want to eat it<br />this part I ams aying now by the way doesnt go in the comic<br />at least not this way<br />also the batman people have not written me back saying whether or not they will use the mooch in all future batman stories<br />so for now pretend im not fighting batman<br />but instead another superhero<br />and we are not in gotham city anymore we are in um<br />rochesterAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-37528561936489200892011-05-01T03:33:00.002-04:002011-05-01T03:54:19.305-04:00QWell would you liook who is the kIng<br />ME<br />that is who<br />because it has been my birthday<br />Again<br />and now I am fourteen<br />that is fourteen yeras<br />and in cat years that is REGAL<br /><br />we dont get around much as we used to<br />we dont write much as we used to<br />you slow down as you get older<br />And sometimes thers just nOt much to write about<br />today I slept<br />and I woke up<br />and I Used the LIterbox<br />do you realy need me to exlaborate on That<br />caus its pretty straightforward if you ask me<br />you go in the box<br />you do your tihing<br />you clean up and go<br />whAT MORE DO YOU NEED<br />it dont become more interesting over time<br /><br />I Had a fine birthday DInner tonight<br />they brought fish back form the fish palce<br />now here is something you mightk not know<br />when you order fish from the pfish place<br />you shouldnt say this is for a cats birthday<br />because they will look at you funny<br />and say whats the matter is our fish not good enough for people<br />they are Proud these fishmongers<br />so<br />you order it saying This is for a dinner for people<br />and Most Definitly not for cats<br />no those cats will STay aAway<br />we will make sure of it<br />now bring out the FrRUITS of the SEA<br /><br />so this is how the DInner came to be for people but mostlyh for ME ABBIE<br />and they came back and they ate it<br />but I had a Sampling of everything<br />it is called a bufet<br />here is what I think of some fish<br /><br />SAlmon is orange and tastes like salmon<br />but if you look at a picture of a samon you see it is pink<br />that is strange<br />but bears lke salmon so its good enough for me<br />you DOnot want to argue with a bear<br /><br />tuna is pink and it tastses GOod<br />but when you look at a tuna you see it is silver<br />fish ar efull of mystery<br />also vitamins<br /><br />then thers yellowtail<br />i havent seen ap icture of one<br />but judging from previous experience<br />i would be Surprised if it actualy had a yellow tail<br />you cant fool me three times over<br /><br />all three though were Aplus eats<br />WOuld eat again<br />and Should<br /><br />by the by<br />I wonderd what actual fish was silver<br />so I Looked it up<br />that SIlverfish aint no fish at all<br />I just wrotethat to save you some timeAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-12659260782175454332011-02-15T20:07:00.003-05:002011-02-15T20:32:50.715-05:00it has come to my Attention that some poeple do not know how to catch mice<br />this Is ay is a travesty<br />and I say this as the pre eminent mousecatgcher of his day<br />I have caught more mice than there are stars in the sky<br />at least as many stars as I canc ount<br />its been cloudy a lot<br /><br />so let me take this oppoprtuntiy to share some iwisdom of the ages<br />it comes passed down from cat to cat<br />some cats dont get it though and they dont make good mousecatchers<br />for instance there was this cat I knew<br />she didnt care for mice one way or tother<br />if she sa w one she would let it go<br />live and let live she owuld say<br />that mouse has done me no harm<br />and anyway there are about fifty more improtant Things to do right now<br />I once told her that was probably not the pIrate way <br />an d I knew for a fact they did not like mice on their ship<br />it was Bad LUck<br />and she just pooh poohed<br /><br />I sh ould also mention that this cat <br />this cat would not hesitate to take credit for a mouse I caught<br />so much for live and let lieve<br />anyawy that was a long time ago and history has proven me to be the victor<br />another notch in the collar If you Will<br />and you SHould<br /><br />so heare are some rules for micecatching<br />as given to me from cats who have gone befre<br />Great Mousers they<br />first you m uyst figure out where the mice are<br />this is not as easy as it sounds<br />but for the sake of not being here all day I should say mice are usually found where there is food<br />and so am I<br />very handy you see<br /><br />next once you See where a mouse is it will oprobably go there again<br />so you dont have to act right away<br />it is better not to becaus you want to put them at ease<br />make them think the house is theirs and they can run around all they awant<br />else they will just hide where you cant get them<br />to do ithis you must watch them but <br />but be VEry still and Quiet<br />you must gfool them into thinking you are Part of the scenery<br />the wall or mayhbe the shadow<br />sometimes it takes a while to wait<br />but it is Worth it<br /><br />the rest is prety dstraight forward<br />you cahase it and y ou catch it<br />if it gts away then go back to the step where you are very quiet<br />if you catch it hurray<br />do as you PLease with it<br />me I like to keep mine by my food sdish<br />some cats like toeat their mice but honetstly they dont taste very good<br />any cat who tells you otherwise is really porbably just folloiwing tradition<br />Ive eaten a few in my time and only several were really Palatable<br />it might depend on what they were eating ebeforehand<br />I ate one once and I only ate half<br />the REst I was saving for later onlyh it never got later enough for me to want to finihsh it<br /><br />the next part is hard for acat but bear with me here<br />if someone gets rid of the mouse for you do not get upset<br />even if they say sthings like oh a dead mouse how disgusting<br />get it out of here before the hwole house gets a diseas<br />listen buddy some VEry Helpful cat just did you a Favor<br />the least you can do is tell them just ho wwell they did<br />before tosing the mouse outside or in the trash<br />or wherevr you put it<br /><br />that wasnt me being upset<br />'<br />around here people undestrstand the vaulable service I provide<br />and they say things like welld one ABbie<br />yhou are a great mousecatcher<br />here have a treat<br /><br />Treats taste better than mice amnyway so it is all win win<br />doesnt matter what treat it is either<br />so feel free to be Cretative and generousAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-76614451876218435042010-11-24T11:08:00.002-05:002010-11-24T11:18:14.163-05:00and now we Present<br />that star of Stage and screen<br />abbie G robinson<br />in his gReatest role ever<br /><br />listen see<br />thisis My joint<br />I'm the big cheese around here<br />and I aint about to let<br />no two bit punk<br />muscle in on MY turf<br />see<br /><br />THE END<br /><br />by theWAy in reality<br />this mesage goes to the brazen varmint<br />by the bowl outside<br />he Knows who he is<br />my Dialog was couresty gangster movies<br /> I Have been watching a lot of gangstermovies<br />starringthat guy<br />who WAs in gangster movies<br />oh and that other guy was in it too sometimesAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-4805259820213714872010-04-30T19:34:00.003-04:002010-04-30T19:52:41.786-04:00today someone said hey abbie congratulations<br />adn I said whatdid I do this time<br />oh right it is my birthday<br />so today I ma thirteen and in cat years that is VENERATED ELDER<br /><br />everybody is always talking about dog years and how Dogs are seven for every year<br />for one dogs stole that from cats<br />as usulal<br />for two its not that simple but for tke sake of being easy lets just go with it<br />cat years are differnet<br />we have a calendar that is like years<br />it is hard to explain<br />its all in the mind<br />and there arent too many names for months and stuff<br />i mean I know what month it is and you know what month it is<br />why waste names<br />we dont even call it months so there<br /><br />okay so we name years<br />there si another cat who has a birthday today<br />but in cat years he is still a babby<br /><br />i know it is getting to be my birthday time when the windows are open<br />today I sat in the window sill and watched the backyard<br />i have much to report for instance<br />the squirrels have way too much freedom in those trees<br />also there is a nerw fence<br />and tols<br />some are very loud and some just sound like hitting things<br />people are making an awful lot of stuff out in the world<br />i just like making a mess<br /><br />oh and if you are wondering abot the cat calendar<br />it all depends on where you have to sit for the sun<br />thats how you knowAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-43340311625257889852010-03-28T14:17:00.002-04:002010-03-28T23:48:53.193-04:00looking out the window at the very nice WSpring weather we are ahving<br />many thingshappen on the street when you look<br />they probably happen when you dont look too but you gotta look<br />except for skunks<br />skunks happen and you dont need to see them<br /><br />i saw someone i know running down the street<br />running runnng running<br />sasy I what are you doing all that running for<br />you are not carrying any loot<br />and you are not cahasing anything<br />she says abbie I am practicing for amarathon<br />well if that dont beat all<br />do you know what aa marathon is<br />i do now<br />it is a big race but you cant use cars<br />and it is a long way to run<br />i once ran from the ktichen through the dinning room and into the windows room<br />because a bird was outside<br />then i ran up the stairs and let everybody know there was a bird outside<br />and then i ran down the stairs and back into the windows room<br />turns out thats not much of a marathon<br />and when i got back the bird was gone<br /><br />everybody runs around for different reasons i guessAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-416296923080320782010-02-01T00:03:00.006-05:002010-02-01T00:14:37.479-05:00THIS IS TO CERTIFY<br />That on Sunday, January 31, 2010<br />THE PARTY OF THE FIRST PART (heretofore referred to as ABBIE) did ask for, and did receive<br />* A copious quantity of leftover brisket<br />* New water in his water dish<br />* Attention<br /><br />Should, in the future, the PARTY OF THE FIRST PART (we mean ABBIE) make the following claims<br /><br />1. That he has never been fed<br />2. That he has never had new water in his bowl<br />3. That he has never had brisket before in his life<br />4. That nobody likes him, everybody hates him, guess he'll go eat worms<br />5. (the list is not limited to the four above, any whine will do)<br /><br />LET IT BE KNOWN TO ALL AND SUNDRY<br />That these complaints are VICIOUS VICIOUS LIES<br /><br />So noted and recorded this First of February, 2010<br /><br />Signed: _____x______ (ME ABBie)<br />Witnessed and Countersigned: ____y_____ (the guy)<br /><br />Additional notes from the PARTY OF THE FIRST PART: THEy told me that If I wanted ANY piece of the Briskte I would have to SIgn this first so it is COmpletely Under Duress and should not be LEgal one bit oh wait did I mention I was supposed to get Briskte with this well I NEVER GOT IT so can I have some of yours huhAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-48571452087714123362010-01-22T16:45:00.003-05:002010-01-22T19:41:12.880-05:00when I am sitting int he PUrple seat<br />which is mine by the way<br />it has my hair on it<br />just so you dont sit there<br /><br />when I sit in the pUrple seat<br />I am the archduk of everywheria<br />and from here I sit<br />watching my subjects Go by<br />to and fro<br />paying tribute<br />it is Nice to watch<br />and gives us something to do before the daily Feast in my honor<br /><br />when I sit on the table<br />in the middle of the plants<br />and watch the squirels<br />I am the interpid Explorer cornel Humphries<br />and I am on the trail of the biggest game prize yet<br />if I get lost it is okay<br />I will eventually meet the doctor i presume<br />or was it the other way around<br /><br />when I sit on the couch<br />i am just a cat<br />some days that's pretty much as good as it getsAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-52128894398311409272009-11-26T18:38:00.010-05:002009-11-27T17:57:14.950-05:00THis being THanksgiving and all I know that i amsure thankful for a lot of thigns<br />first you know the man they call troublemaker sam<br />well he helped me out with my Hair Styilng<br />oha nd that girl she helped out too<br />and now i am SLeeker than ever and you cannot ever say oh hey there goes abbie the walking throw rug<br /><br />all is good for now it is colder and I shall be growing a new rug as They say<br /><br />so I thought I should tkae the time and tell you all about Thanks giving because it is a very good time aorund here when it happens<br /><br />it all goes back to a very long time ago ah wen there these cats they called pilgrims <br />they were Making a Pilgrimation from the land across the ocean to over here, which is across the ocean from oer there<br /><br />I looked it up on GOggle maps it is all true<br /><br />and they Settled down and called the place NEw England so that nobody would confuse it with Regular England<br /><br />and things were going okay for a while<br />they were doing pretty good for themselves<br />but then when winter came oh brother was It a nightmare<br />dont ever do that if you have a chance by the wya<br />if someone comes up to you and says Hey buddy wanna go to the New World and spend a winter there<br />say No thank you I shall wait until after you have your Revolution<br /><br />so undersatndably when the time came for the next winter to roll around these cats were Pretty worried<br />but then they got to tlaking with the Cats who had ALready Been Living there<br />these cats by the way<br />i gotta say<br />they get the Short end of the stick by the end of it all<br />I mean really unfair<br />It's like when they put you in a SMall room and say<br />oh Sorry Abbie but we have to use the dining room right now<br />this fine sushi dinner just Isnt for the lieks of YOU<br /><br />now take that<br />and make it like a Million times even MOre unfair<br />thats those cats<br />I mean<br />unliike Yours Truley<br />they werent even doing anything Wrong<br /><br />but back in the Piligrims days these cats were doing pretty good for themselves<br />they had COrn<br />and it was called Maize<br />but you could say corn if you wanted to<br />and they said hey New Cats on the block<br />here's maize which we think you will really like<br />and when you Grow it then you can make all kinds of food<br />and grow some more<br /><br />Needles to say this made the pilgirms very happy<br />as well as my ancestor Restaurant joe<br /><br />remember Restauarnt joe<br />theres a song about restauarnt joe<br /><br />anyway in those days he was known as Elder Restaurant JOseph<br />I looked it up<br />but I am going to still just call him Rest Joe from now on becaus the last time I told you about him I got REAlly SIck and tired of writing it aLL THE TIME<br /><br />so Rest Joe he was part of the Pilgrimings and he piped up and he said well you know I have been wanting to make some fine food for everybodyt for a long time now only we have been running low on every ingredient<br /><br />but I bet that if we took what we got and shared it what with the Cats over there<br />and use their maize corn too<br />we can have our selves a feastt that cant be beat<br /><br />and thats just what they did, everybody got together and I guess they used a big kitchen<br />and Rest Joe made all his favrite Specialties<br />when you asked him if something was on the menu he said it is now<br />and the other cats they stopped by and made their own stuff and stuffing<br />it was pretty wild<br />I bet they even had turnips<br />Because they had a song about the meal<br />and it went you can get anything you want at restaurant joe's restaurant<br />Except for the restaurant<br /><br />afterwards when they were all full everybdoy took a nap<br />but not before rest joe tapped his fork to his mug and said<br />okay I want to thank everybody who came out and did their thing<br />and helped put a lot of food on the table<br />and I want to thank the other cats because they saw we Were in a FIx<br />and there's a lot of other things to thank<br />and I Bet you have a few in your life too<br />so think about that for a bit<br />and then you can take a Nap because I know I will<br /><br />and they slept for quit ea while and then they got up and ran around batting small rocks in to the goals<br />all in all not bad a holiday for a first try<br /><br />anyway I Am awriting all this cause I got my own turkey dinner tonight<br />WIth all the trimmings Thankyou very Much<br />and that's a lot to be thankful for<br /><br />now I am oging to take a nap<br />the batting of the small rocks shall commence at oh 3:30 this A MAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-30956576499839398482009-08-15T20:10:00.004-04:002009-08-15T20:20:10.763-04:00the Sqiurells are here again and boy are they ROwdy<br />I dont suppose you know that squirels are very lively<br />yes sometimes they are very entertaing and other times quite annoying<br /><br />when I Am bored it is time to watch the squirels eating<br />and so they put a little bowl on the porch<br />and inside the BOwl they put stuff that squrirels like to eat<br />like stuff I wont eat<br />and then the squirrels come and its a squirrel party for sure<br />then the food is gone and they go away<br />be with us next time for more of the squirrel show<br /><br />but last night they got very carried away<br />I woudl not be surprised if they had gotten into some bad acorns<br />for they were very bad nuts<br />what are you doing I say you are partying too hard<br />no we are not says the squirrel we are having fun and whats wrong with that bud<br />if this screen werent here says I you would all not be having a party right now<br /><br />come on fellas said the squirrel this aint no place for the likes of us<br />in fact all i sees here is one big square<br />and thats when the squirels broke the bowl<br />they tore up the little green bowl<br />and off they ran with little green pieces of plastic<br /><br />hah<br />if thereis no bowl then where do you put the food<br /><br /><br />something tels me these squirels just partied themselves out of free meals<br />and the squirrel show has been cancelled<br />fame as They say is FleetingAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-84095480397996917652009-04-22T22:52:00.003-04:002009-04-22T23:08:22.391-04:00it IS sprting cleaning<br />I got springed<br />and cleaned<br /><br />it was fun to play in the water<br />he put me in a tub that is<br />it is a blig blue tub<br />that is MY TUB<br />well I dont see anyone else using it<br /><br />ANd now I look poisitively svelte<br />whatkind of word is svelte<br />it looks wrong<br />you just mash keys on thekeyboard thats how you get that word<br />I could do it with my eyes closd<br />svlet<br />how did I Do<br /><br />by the By<br />whats lavedner and why do theys ay I smell like it<br />I smell like me but without the dust fromunder the bed<br />time to goet more dustAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-85870702123800129002009-02-01T14:01:00.003-05:002009-02-01T17:24:00.763-05:00I took a poll recently<br />whiche was best<br />breakfast<br />lunch<br />dinner<br />(or supper if you say that)<br /><br />I knew the poll would not pick lunch to win<br />it is not that we do not give this meal respect<br />it is ujust that lunch is not very INspiring when it comes to eating<br />there is your sandwich<br />eat it<br />if you don't then I will eat it<br />but look <br />I am not enjoying it as much as I cCOuld be<br /><br />breakfast on the other hand is great<br />it is the greateast of all possible meals<br />now dont you think that it is only for the morning<br />you can have breafkfast after you have woken up<br />at any time of day<br />if it was only for the morning then we awoudl call it MOrning somehting<br />I dont know what we could call it<br />since we dont call it that<br /><br />but you are breaking<br />and you are dOing it fast<br />so that is the meal name<br /><br />the best part of breakfast is the bacon<br />people who eat becon like it<br />around here there is a rule you see<br />oh this bacon was cooked too crispy someone says<br />i will instead give it to the cat cmere cat<br />as a resulte I have become quite fond of crsipy bacon<br />the crispyer the better<br />now ehere is a secret you will not be Told by anyone else<br />baconc gets crispy if you cook it for long<br />so I watned to make sure the bacon would be perfect for the cat<br />so when it was cooking<br />there were diversions<br />oh cat theys aid<br />get down from there<br />abbie stop doing that you are going carazy and it isnt even crazy time<br />abbie quit singing youll have some bacon soon enough<br /><br />now this is my crowning achievement<br />look at that<br />the bacon has been cooked too long and now all of it is cripsy<br />what do we do<br />give it to the cat says I<br />that is the rules<br /><br />oh well someone says<br />we can crumble it up and putit in the omelets<br />waste not want what not<br /><br />WHAT<br /><br /><br /><br />here is a happy Endign<br />we better be sure to save a piece for the cat they say<br />so there was bacon in the omelets<br />and bacon in the cat<br />and that is my story for ytoday<br /><br />for recirpes please go to a recipe site<br />there you will leran how to cook baconsAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-59300724826969810592009-01-25T16:00:00.003-05:002009-01-25T16:07:14.824-05:00ONCe upon time there was a bvery smar tman<br />he didnt live here<br />and he said the folowing about dinner<br /><br />he said<br />some people have meat but they canot eat it<br />I am guesing he meant vegerterins here<br />I knew one and she was very kind to me<br />mostly because I never pestered her for food<br />much<br /><br />someetimes tofu can be good to eat<br /><br />he also said<br />some peoplw oudl eat food if only they had it<br />that sounds like me to a T<br />where is food<br />there is a cat<br />the food isnt there for much longer<br /><br />then he said<br />but We have meat and we can also eat it<br /><br />this is the best of both worlds<br /><br />and he agreed because then he said<br />and we should be very vthankful for it<br /><br />I Was tjust thinking abotu this earlier when I had my supper<br />it is all very true<br />if you have your food and can eat it<br />like you have teeth<br />then be thankful and say it a lot<br /><br />there is cooking in the kitchen<br />I amgoing to find more reasons to be thankfulAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-74495249039240299082008-12-28T23:48:00.003-05:002008-12-29T00:16:27.021-05:00NOw that there is a moment I can tell you about a handy hint for watching TV<br />everybody loves to watch telvision<br />but sometimes when you are wathcing and you really like it<br />SOmeone changes the channel<br />but wait I was watcing that and it was JUst getting interesting<br /><br />so the next time that happens to you here is what you do<br />I mean you have to do this Before it happens to you<br />outherwise it just doesnt quite work<br /><br />SO there you are on the couch (ps you are a cat)<br />and you are watching television happily<br />and then the announcer comes on and says next up we will show you how bottlecaps are made<br />and you think Well this will be very intriguing<br />I have always wanted to know this<br />but then someone on the couch says "time to change the cahnnel"<br />NO IT IS NOT<br />here is what you do<br /><br />you go to sleep<br />right on their lap or on their legs or howveer they are sitting<br />SLEEP ON THEM<br />and be sure to look extra comfortable and happy<br />EVen if it is not quite the most comfortable place ever<br />one time I fell asleep on a shoe<br />I do not recomend it unless you like shoes<br />anyway now you are happy and alseep<br />and they will say wait I cant get up to change the channel because the cat is so happy and peaceful I do not want to disturb it<br />wait I will use the remote<br />oh <br />IU forgot to mention<br />before you do allthis<br />be sure to hide the remote<br /><br />well now <br />if you have done everything then you can enjoy what you want to watch<br />just kind of move your head towars the television set<br />and watch through your eyes<br />dont forget you have to pretend you are still asleep<br />but if you have come this far then that is easy as pie<br /><br />there is something SMall on the table<br />I am going to go knock it off<br />byeAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-52297581051369439292008-12-15T10:15:00.004-05:002008-12-15T10:33:23.395-05:00I was at home<br />I was napping upstairs and the guy was napping so there was a nap<br />then I got up and said Im hungry and went downstairs<br /><br />downstairs theother guy was doing something in the living room<br />he is what you would calla Troubleamaker<br />he somestimes says hello abbie you are a cat<br />and I say yes and hes ays oh good just reminding you of your place in the world<br />gee thanks for that reminder<br /><br />he ahs also puled stunts like this<br />hello abbie he says come over here<br />okay says I this is fun<br />then he says I am going to put water onyour head<br />contrararty to what other cats think, I dont mind water all that muhc<br />in the summertime theres nothing better to keep you cool<br />if you have long hair and you dont want to shave it all off<br />because then you woould look like a FOol<br />the girl was tehre too, she was fully involved in this i want the record to show<br />then he ocmbs me when my hair si well and duly wet<br />and says there, Now you have a mohawk<br />I am not as thirlled as all that with these turns of events<br />then the guy comesdown stairs and says hey who gave the cat a wethead<br />dont look at me, try those poeple over there who cant stop giggling<br />meanwhile I am goign to go over and search the trashcans to find my dignity<br />it might be hinidg in there<br />and food<br /><br />so there he was troublemaker sam (taht is not his real name) <br />and he had a camera looking out the window<br />at squirrels<br />there is a window out there<br />and on the other side is a bowl<br />and in the bowl you put in things you think squirels would like to eat<br />and then they come by and you Obnserve them<br />it is very convenient you see<br /><br />looka t that i say he is making the squirrel show, everybody watch thesquirel show<br />i cant see the squirrel<br />move the camera<br />I Want to see the squirrel<br /><br />eventualy I decided that the squirrel show has been cacenceld, it had bad ratings, because only one camera was wathching it and no cats were<br />so I stepped in to help and the squirrel show becames the ABbie show<br />starring ABbie<br />heres the theme<br />it's the abbbie show, the abbie show<br />everybody wants to watch the abbie show<br />(the Insturments go crazy here with lots of music)<br />there'll be ME abbie here and maybe I will do stuff<br />or just eat and fall asleep<br />only on the ab<br />bie<br />shoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow<br /><br />todays episode of the abbie show is Abbie watches squirels<br />it is called THe ONe where Abbie watches the squirrels<br />and you can see it here<br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEcpIwf2-mY">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEcpIwf2-mY</a><br /><br />critics have called the makers of the abbie SHow to task for putting telvevision personaility over storylines<br />and they say the abbie hsow is very little on plot<br />pah i say in response this is an atmospheric show if you want a story go over and watch the story show<br />here on this show things are simple<br />there are squirrels<br />ME abbie watches squirrels<br />then I go do something else<br />thats a good enough story for me todayAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-69588673645377446702008-12-02T07:13:00.002-05:002008-12-02T07:19:49.117-05:00well ther ewas GReat excitement yesterday<br />I had wona amajor award or something<br />they said Hey abbie you are officialy the Sassiest cat of the year<br />in this house at least<br />and therefor you will get a nice Helping of tuna fish right here inyour bowl<br /><br />hurray says I for it is always a good day when that happens<br />and whatdyou know but there was asome fish in my bowl<br />I ate it very quickly<br />it is a rule you know<br />eat as fast as ye can the rule says<br />for all you know it could turn out to be an illusion<br />LIke in the desert<br /><br />so ten seconds later the tuna was gone<br />well not rteally gone<br />I knew where it was<br /><br />and everything was Fine<br /><br />but there is another rule that I forgot<br />it says But Dont eat so FAST or else Urp<br />and thats what happened<br />Urp<br />there was no more tuna in the bowl<br />but there was tuna on the floor<br /><br />I looked at it<br />and i Looked around<br />nobody had seen it happen<br />so I had a little CHeck<br />it was tasty the first time<br />and it was tasty the second time<br />so lets dig in<br /><br />Well you never heard such a hue and cry in your life<br />hey Abbie what are you doing<br />oh for gods sake cat<br />someone disttract him while I get the paper towels <br />use the shiny thing<br /><br />anywya they took away my Major award<br />and I a m rightly miffed<br />they gave it to tme<br />it was MIne<br />and I should be able to Do with it as I pleaseAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-61986593965113416132008-10-12T22:51:00.002-04:002008-10-12T23:06:01.581-04:00WEll well WELL<br />ANda gain I say WELL<br />let me tell YOu a story<br />I mean it its a real story all right<br />it all has to do with bloger<br />and I am not very pleased with them at this time and date<br /><br />I have been sitting here tfor days on end<br />trying to put in my name and pasoword<br />and the internet mocks me<br />"forgot you r password?" it says<br />in BLue<br />so naturaly I remember my passowrd so I type NO I KNOW IT<br />and it says "forgot your password?" <br />and I type in NO ID DIDNT FORGET YOU ARE JUST MAKING ME LOSE MY CONCENTRATION<br />and then it says "forgot your password?"again<br />blue and under lined<br /><br />I didnt forget it <br />I had remembered it all along<br />but I think the computer wants me to play<br />its little game<br />so I type in YES OKAY MAY BE I DID FORGET IT WHATARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT HUH<br />and it says "forgot your password?"<br />and I say a very bad word out loud<br />hush you didnt hear it<br /><br />at this point naturaly I am very veyr cross<br />and I hit any old button<br />I hit them all<br />had a grand old time too<br /><br />and then the web says "if you have forgoten your password we will Send it to tyou"<br />and I say hurray for science<br />I still dont know which button did it<br />so there is taht and the computer whirrs and then it goes<br />"okay we sent your pasowrd to this email addess"<br />so I go to that email adress<br />and wouldnt you know it<br />I FORGOT THAT PASSWORD TOO<br />you can see I am anoyed because of all the capital letters<br /><br />then along came a very smart <br />bug<br />ok maybe it wasnt a bug maybe it was someone<br />and they said oh abbie you are useing the wrong internet button<br />here try this one here<br />it is another button on the screen click that one not this one<br />so I put my user and pasword into the new button<br /><br />and lo and behold<br />the computer turns into mr nice guy<br />oh waelcome back to the wornderful world of the blogging it says<br />can I get you anything it asks perhaps a drink of water or a nice piece of fish<br />i shall sound the trumptets and lead the parade<br />pshaw i say You are a Bad computer and took up all this time annoying me<br />oh no it says that was the other internet button I am the good one<br /><br />I guess<br /><br />anyway I have a new collar and nametag<br />it says ME ABBIE on it<br />so I know it's me<br />other than that I Forgot what I was going tosayAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2755011.post-17782123410854936312008-02-21T00:44:00.002-05:002008-02-21T01:27:04.776-05:00Hey there,<br /><br />I've got great news to report; Abbie is back home safe where he belongs and slightly no worse for the wear. A neighbor saw our flyers and called when she spotted "definitely a large" tuxedo cat in her backyard chasing a squirrel; she was pretty sure the cat had spent at least one night in her garage as well. I wasn't home from work at the time but my housemate Tracy was, and dashed out to find Abbie already on the move towards another neighbor's house. Though he appeared to be Very Wary of everyone and everything, Abbie eventually recognized Tracy and allowed himself to be picked up and escorted back inside where he should have been all along.<br /><br />The first thing he did when he got in was run to where his food dish should've been (it was in the back room serving as bait for the House Trap) and complained loudly. This was pretty much the first indicator that he was going to be all right. After wolfing down a great deal of wet food he went around looking for me -- checking my room, my office chair, all over. When I finally did get home he ran right up and started telling me all about things while I picked him up and gave him a big hug (and checked for injuries and whatnot at the same time.) Since then he's hardly left my side while I'm home, and has decided that lap-sitting is a really great thing, especially when the lap belongs to someone hard at work. (He's a dear but it's sometimes hard to type around him.)<br /><br />He'd lost about 5 pounds in his week-plus outdoors, but has quickly begun to regain that. He had no scars or wounds that I could find, and he wasn't limping or favoring a paw. I took him to the vet to get him checked out. He came out of it with all his shots up-to-date and his claws clipped; he threw a fit when the vet tried to look at his teeth so we wisely decided to leave the microchipping (which involves a larger needle than the vaccinations) for a dental appointment, when he goes under and won't be in any position to complain.<br /><br />I am extremely grateful for all the help I received from my housemates, friends, online acquaintances, and random strangers both local and far away. I had the flu during a major part of Abbie's absence, and Tracy spearheaded the operation quite ably, getting folks out to flyer and search the neighborhood any time I got a call from someone who thought they'd seen a huge black-and-white monstrosity terrorizing squirrels. People searched for Abbie in other time zones just to check. It was quite inspiring, and I'd like to thank everybody who did anything to help, even if it was just thinking a kind thought for the cat while he was out having his outdoor adventure (and worrying me sick). This fellow really <i>does</i> have a posse.<br /><br />I'm sure he'll be around sooner or later to tell you his side of things, but if he starts bragging about how he bravely marched to fight the neighborhood dogs or something, you might want to take it with a grain of salt.<br /><br /><br /><br />RobAbbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153851386388429517noreply@blogger.com50